A brief look into our lives...
Jessica & Abbey (3/08)
Logen is DESPERATE for your prayers. Pray blog family, PLEASE pray. Just grab this code and add it to your blog (html gadget) so you can help us spread the word! Thanks!
I have several pictures to upload here. I mean LOTS! And, since I have a fairly large homework assignment due in 3 hours and I'm not half way done, what better thing to do that upload a few pictures! 
Mr Logen in his Easter outfit (with my Dad's dog, Buddy)
Mr Parker in his Easter outfit (He's thrilled, you can't tell?!)
If you didn't already know- I'm in summer school. I'm trying to "bust out" 9 credit hours in 5 weeks. I have 4 weeks left. I wake up around 4:30 am and leave my house by 6:15. I'm done with class around 2 pm each day. I get to see my kids by 3:30ish. And by about 4 pm, I'm about exhausted and can't think straight. Please don't attempt to get me to remember anything important between the hours of 4 pm and bedtime b/c I don't remember it.
Logen is also in "Extended year session" aka summer school until July 2.
Parker has returned to a new daycare (he was 'removed' from the other... can't remember if I blogged this?!) and is doing well. They put him in with the older kiddos and his speech is improving. He's minding his manners nicely! Now, when he comes home.... oh, thats a different story. But, the poor little guy has to get up so early- so we cut the boys some slack there.
I am taking Exercise Physiology, Seminar of Exercise Science, and Motor Development. I had my first test at 7:30 this morning. I have another test tomorrow in another course.
Parker opens containers with his teeth now. When the little guys work together, we get big 'ole fun messes! 
I'm freaking out about today's appointment.... would you keep me in your prayers today?
I have a test in all of my classes next week- getting ready for Thanksgiving break. I love it when they hit you 3 days in a row. :(
I gave Logen his Rx cough med and Motrin last night- no fever this morning. He still has a nasty cough and horrible, icky snotty nose. Poor Parker has it too! He's got another ear infection! :(
Parker's well child visit last Thursday turned into a sick kid one when daycare called 1 hour pre-appt and told me he had fever. He had only been off his antibiotics from the last ear infection for 7 days. I think tubes are in his near future!!! He's made it up to the 26 lb marker! I'm 100% that is not accurate, I argued with the nurse b/c less than weeks before he was 24lbs naked. At 2, they weigh with clothes on. So, on the charts it appears that in less than 2 weeks time, he's gained 2 lbs. Oh, well-- charts don't matter, right?!
Today has been interesting. Interesting.
At 8:04am my phone rang- I missed the call b/c I was dropping Parker off at daycare. At 8:05am I was in the car heading towards my school and listening through 14 voice mails to get to the one Logen's school had just left me (if that tells you anything, I don't listen to voice mails very often)
The lady had said Logen is in the nurses office and they've called 911. Please call them.
I freak. 1st thing that comes to mind: Seizure. Bad one. Tears, why couldn't this have happened when he was near me?!
I regain composure and call them back. She said he was on the school bus - and had been seizing for about 2 minutes before he even got to school. I can't remember if they had phoned ahead to warn them or not- whoever was there to take him took off running to the nurse's office. The nurse immediately gave him diastat (a form of valium administered rectally). This stopped the seizure. They called 911 and then me.
I headed towards his school. Thankful I was still in town (well, the next town over- but my school is a good 40 minutes *atleast* from Logen's school). I turned on my flashers and drove like any paniced mother would.
When I got there the paramedics asked if I wanted them to transport Logen or if I wanted to. I said them. He was still lethargic and really not even holding his own head up. There were several people in the nurses office with Logen. The nurse was holding him and his teacher was standing next to them. The assistant principle, office ladies, and 2 paramedics were there 2.
We got in the ambulance and headed to the hospital. Logen's teacher drove my van to the hospital so I would have it there. I really thought he would have slept on that drive, but he didn't. He was so out of it. He would have been so excited if he had known he was riding in the back of an ambulance. The paramedic riding back there had been to the school the week before to show the fire truck off and remembered Logen. He said he loved it!
When we got to the hospital Logen was still not totally with it. The Dr there called and spoke with his Neuro at the CP Center in St Louis. They said we did the right thing and decided to up his medicine again. He's up to 75mg of Zonegran/AM and 100mg/PM. He was checked over and besides the fact that he'd just had a severe seizure, he looked good. So he was discharged.
We got home and he slept til about 1:30 this afternoon. He cried when he woke up, he tried to walk but was so wobbly. He ate a little oatmeal and was starting to get his normal color back.
I spoke with the CP Cntr nurse this afternoon and she said she'd call me back in the AM about this. It's alarming to me that his seizures are getting worse. Today's seizure was classified as tonic-clonic. Logen has never had this kind before. Nor has he ever had one lasting over 2 minutes. I'm worried about this. Personally I think if they are getting worse- there must be something we are missing. How is it that seizures just pop up at 4.5 years old and become worse as you increase the preventative medicine? I'll post an update when I get one.
The nurse called this afternoon to check on us. I also spoke to Logen's teacher (everybody wanted an update) She said when the bus got to the school this afternoon, they ladies had tears in there eyes-- they were so so worried about Logen.
I am absolutely AMAZED with his school. So far, in every aspect they've gotten a A+.
I missed class yesterday- Parker has a bilateral ear infection. One he's had for about a week we didn't know about. We got numbing ear drops- they looked horrible. He hadn't had a fever- just wasn't sleeping. He still doesn't have all of his front teeth in, I chalked it up to teething. Guess we won't do that again.
Say a prayer for us, would you? It's kinda stressful here!
I often wonder if I am good enough to be Logen and Parker's momma. It's nice to get those compliments- the ones where people non-chalantly tell you you're a great mom.
Today, I felt kinda like I got a 'not-so-great' mom award. Adam's brother and his wife had their baby today (so we have a new neice, Welcome Madelyne Reece!). Some good friends kept the boys for a few hours so we could go to the hospital to see the baby (and not have to keep up with the monkies). There was a book sitting there, Grandma's something or other. So, I opened it up and saw a hand-writen message. Being the nosey person I am, I read it.
It was something to the effect of- (obviously, not exact words- but what I got out of it) Blah, blah... You are so lucky to have such wonderful parents that love you so much. You are one blessed little girl. Your parents will do everything they can for you.... We are so blessed to have you.
Ok, I wanted to cry. The person who wrote this has NEVER EVER told me I am a good Momma. Or even implied it. So, I asked Adam after we left. He said, (what man that didn't want to get a beat down wouldn't say this?!) yes, baby you are an awesome mother. Any mom who has a special needs child that does as much as you have done and do for Logen deserves an honor. You are an amazing woman and mother. But, he married me. So, he wouldn't have done that if he thought I was crappy, right?
Anyway--- I do a lot for Logen. And, Parker. They are my children. I do what mother's should do. I love them. I can't imagine a single day without them. I hate the system, it's all jacked up. But, we put up a fight, a damn good one at that. We will never let them win. They may get the best of me occassionaly- but once I learn the ropes- you better believe they'll be hearing from Jessica again. Doesn't all of that count for something? Doesn't the fact that we are constantly searching for new therapies and treatment options count for something? We look for things to better their lives, we would move mountains for our children. I would give my voice, or leg, or arm, or life so Logen could speak if thats what Logen needed me to do. We love our babies, we read them books, we play with them, we feed them, we hug them, we keep them safe, and clean, and dressed, and fairly happy (when they get what they want, when they want it, how they want it). Doesn't that amount to something?
What counts as being a good/great parent? What do I do to get there? I want to be there. I have to be at that parenting level. My children need me to be there.
More funny stuff from our day:
* Silly Mom put Parker's shoes on the wrong feet. I stood him up and told him it was time to go. He stood there and cried. He wouldn't walk. I then noticed what I had done. Problem was solved once Mom fixed it. I didn't think it would be that big of a deal. He still wears pedi-pod soft sole type shoes. I can't bring myself to buy 'real' shoes for my baby.
* Logen threw a FIT and a half when we left therapy today b/c another kid had crocs like his. He thought they were his. He took off his tennis shoes and wanted to put those on. Seriously, had to drag the kid to the van. So, when we got home, I told him to go to his closet to find his crocs. He did and we put them on. He was happy as pie!
* Parker falls alseep on my chest this afternoon. 1 of Logen's shoes falls off. He gets ticked. He is chasing the shoe around trying to put it on. Instead of bending over and using his hands to help him, he wanted to put crocs on w/o the use of hands. While it did make me sad, it was too funny to watch his chase the shoe around yelling at it! Lazy lil' stink!!!!
When I was picking Logen up from school today to take to therapy, he was out of the room getting changed. So, Parker and I hung out and chatted with his teacher. Parker bit a little girl on her tummy a few weeks ago while trying to steal her toy. Today, she had a cup of blocks that Parker apparently wanted. So, he went to grab them from her. She came up to me and said, "Please don't bring him back in here". You can't help but laugh. I asked why. She said, "b/c he will bite me." I asked her if he bit her again. She said, "no, but don't bring him back." Logen's teacher and I were laughing. His teacher said that the policeman would come get me if I left him in the car or at home, she said, "that'd be ok". Silly kids!!!
I'm taking the boys to the Dr this afternoon. Parker man has a funky rash that starts on his legs, goes away and appears on his face- and back again. Weird. Logen has been feeling pretty cruddy all weekend. He's not eaten and had a fever Saturday. He'd been pulling at the ear that the tube came out of to. Strep is going around in our area- and it's started with a rash in a few kids- so thats my main concern with Parker. I also woke up this morning feeling icky.
I posted the results of my head MRI a while back, remember? It was 'normal'. Well, my migraines are still persisting. I went back to my Dr last week. She put me on Topamax (1 daily for 3 weeks, increase to 2 daily and see how that works). She said it may take 2 months or longer to get the full benefits of the medication. She gave me some sort of pain med that is for migraines. I tried Imitrex- which did not touch my headaches (it's to the point where tylenol, ibprofen, RX naproxin are not working). However, the med she gave me hasn't worked either. I'm wondering if it's not migraines- if it's something hormonal? Or something else? Really... Why would I be having headaches that meds aren't getting rid of? Going to complete silence doesn't help, no lights doesn't help. My ears ring. It feels like an elephant is stomping my head. It hurts! So, thats whats new with me. My head hurts, which really isn't new at all.
We helped my Momma & Dave get moved last weekend. Oh, boy- that way fun. For some crazy reason they thought we could get packed & moved in 2 days. Well, we did for the most part- but, geez.. did we work hard!!!
The boys are doing well. All 3 of them. Logen is loving school. He threw a fit when I picked him up today. He did not want to leave! That made my heart smile. Parker did ok with Brian today and yesterday. He kept him while I did the ACC training. He cried alot yesterday. My littlest man is just not used to being away from his momma. Adam is working like crazy (which isn't new) Fed-ex keeps their employees busy!
Hugs!
Parker's temp is back. His last day on antibio's was yesterday. He had a rectal temp (ya know, the most accurate) of 102.7 earlier. It did go down after a good dose of motrin. If it continues to pop back up, we will be back in the ped's office tomorrow. Goody- I love it there.
Took Logen to the ENT yesterday- for the blood coming out of his ear- and his tube was dislodged. The problem was fixed in the office and he's as good as new today! We go back in 6 weeks for a check up.
As for me, I feel like a total lard today. I ate (and I am NOT kidding) about 25 oreos for breakfast (they are around what, 50 calories a piece!) I did NOT work out today. I did spent an hour in WalMart, so that should count for something.
