Starting "Real" School

Logen goes to Kindergarten tomorrow. I have dreaded this day for a very long time. Probably since 'around the time of diagnosis'. I have always viewed 'real school' negatively for Logen. (Since I have such a positive outlook on things... ha) I hated knowing that he'd be in the "Special Ed" class, even though thats not what they call it at his school. That'd he would be classified as 'different' for lack of a better word. Kids are mean, I was one once- I know how people treated 'those' kids.
But, tonight I actually am excited for Logen. I think he will do wonderfully in the class he will be in. While I will always hate the fact that he's not in a 'regular' class, I know he couldn't handle a 'regular, mainstream' class. And, who's to say that someday he won't be in a regular class? Couldn't handle seems negative- it wouldn't be a good placement for Logen, he's not ready for that yet. And, I know he's not ready for a typical Kindergarten class either. We are still working on communication with his Aug Comm device, we aren't to the point the other kids his age are. And, that's ok. Today must be a good day, b/c it doesn't make me cry that he's not there yet. He's working at "Logen's Pace" and when Logen gets there, he will get there. He's a pretty determined kid (anybody ever been with him & I at Walmart? Or any other public place that he may want something I am not going to buy him? He's pretty dog-on good at being 'determined')
So, really- we just ask for prayers for Logen.
B/c with God, ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE.
I know that tomorrow when I am in class I will be worried sick about him and how's he doing. So, maybe you could say a little prayer for Momma to. I'll update tomorrow evening, when I am suppose to be doing homework... like now.

Ace

I aced Wednesday's French quiz!!! 10/10 :) Not so sure about yesterdays, I'll know Monday. And whats going to be on Mondays sounds tough!

Squeak! Squeak!

I bought these shoes for Logen before he was walking thinking the "squeak" when you step would be motivating. We just got them out for Parker. He's worn them to school once before and I was told not to bring him back in them! Miss Julie said it in a funny way.... hey, I had packed an extra pair b/c I figured she'd get annoyed. Yesterday, Parker insisted on wearing them. So, I was like- I'll just let them fight that battle. I put them on him and made sure to pack another pair.

The morning teacher knew he had extra shoes, Miss Julie did not. When I walked in she smiled really big and said, "Jessica I swear I told you don't send those again. haha" I told her he had extras, she said "That would have been nice to know. Esp during nap time. He sat on his cot and stomped his feet so they'd squeak." I had to laugh. He is definitely Mr Rotten.

I really love squeaky shoes for Parker. He likes to dart away from us in public places. When he wears them, I can hear him squeak. I guess it's the mom in me, but they don't annoy me at all. I think they are pretty cute. For some reason the original place we bought them from doesn't have a very good selection anymore. So, I found this on-line store. I will be ordering a new pair~ Mom's of girls-- they have some VERY VERY cute girl shoes!!!!! (That look like expensive 'boutique' shoes)

Kindergarten- HERE WE COME!

My mom & I met with Logen's new school today. Let me tell you, it sounded incredible! The classroom was terrific as well. We toured the school. Everything was wonderful. We met with the Principal, Assist-Principal, Director of Special Ed, The school psychologist, the SLP, the developmental therapist, the Spec Ed teacher, and a few Para's. We also met (in their classrooms) the computer lab teacher, art, music, and gym teacher and nurse.
Here's the plan:
Logen will be in that classroom. He will go to lunch, art, music, and gym with the 'typical' kids- they call those times "specials". Their recess is on the same playground, but they aren't out there with the other 6 K classrooms. If he seems ready, they will intigrate him into their "regular' class starting with center time. They change activities every 15 minutes, the children all have individualized plans- so every 15 minutes they will know whats going on, in case they forgot. They have a 'spec ed bus' that he has the opportunity to ride, if we chose that. I'm pretty sure I'm leaving stuff out.
Most likely, he will start Monday. Therapy is a blur at the moment. He will be getting therapy there, but certainly not what we are used to. And, when I asked about all the 'negative hype' everybody has told me about- their responses were super impressive. My Mom said, "This all sounds great, we will hold you to it. You can certainly talk the talk." The Principal "Mr. O" said, "Oh, yes mam and we can 'walk the walk'". We have several things to get in order. They will 'temporarily' place him until the psych can go through her testing and while we work out the IEP and other papers for me to sign. His teacher has been doing this for 13 years and signs when she talks- super great! They are also very familiar with his 'talker'. We do have to have a 'medical plan' on file before he can start- in case he has a seizure there. I was also impressed that they went to Logen's preschool (Principal, Assist P, Spec Ed Director, Developmental Therapist, and his teacher) to observe him yesterday, so that they could meet him before we talked about him today- they didn't want to talk about a child they hadn't meet before. Not many people will take that time out of their day for that. I am excited about this now, and believe it will be the best option for Logen. Now, we must get outside therapy into play. I would like for him to get atleast 1 of each discipline/per week outside of school.

Please continue with your prayers as we embark on this new territory.

A "Self" Brag

Do you see what I did???? My first quiz and homework in French was last Friday, August 29. I didn't miss a single thing on either!!! I am very proud of myself. A good grade always motivates me to keep 'kickin' booty'. Hopefully, I can post that todays went just as well. I was prepared to write the words in French (where spelling and puncuation count), so when I saw she was writing the words in French- I thought to myself, "I got this one!!!"

A Disaster Area

Do you ever feel like your house is trashed, or is it just me? While I posted the 'post' below, my wonderful children who only take care of their toys and never make messes (HAHAHA) opened a bulk package of spaghetti noodles and orange crackers. I'd already mopped this morning (briefly) after Parker picked up a glass of pina colada (however you spell that) and broke it. Sticky mess everywhere. (I know you sometimes leave your glass sitting on the coffee table and just go to bed too.... just agree and make me feel better) So, today I've mopped my kitchen (on hands and knees b/c I think mops are nasty... weird quirk) 3 times.

If anytime in the next, uh 15 weeks, you decide to come to my house- just look at the walls and not the floor full of toys or the huge mound of clean laundry sitting in the chair just waiting for somebody to put it away. I apologize now.. b/c as the semester rolls on I don't think it's guna get any easier. Week 2 and I already have a quiz everyday.

I'm So Lost~

I've been crying a better part of today. I'm at the part of the road where a turn is obvious. Normally, I'm fairly good at staying in control and making the right turn w/o regrets. This turn, however- I can't seem to make.
From last night's post, you know I'm considering other options 'therapy wise'.
Today's events: Logen has been getting Developmental therapy through the public school since last Fall. I had a meeting with the DT today. Of course, at an IEP you must meet with more than just the DT. The Assistant Special Ed director was also there. Since Logen is technically school aged, there is not a whole lost the district is able to provide. We did turn in a waiver last year so that Logen could still get DT services through the school. However, today they suggested starting him in Kindergarten, like next week. Most likely, he will have to repeat. But, in the scheme of things- we didn't plan on starting him until next year anyways, so repeating wouldn't be so bad. And, yes- he'd be in special ed. I go Thursday to tour the school (it just opened in August, so everything will be shiny) and to meet the teachers, principal, aides, etc.
Why have I been so sad about this? Therapy, mainly. It sounds so silly now that I read it. But, he's not getting what he needs right now. So, could it hurt to take him out of it and rely on the public school system to do whats best for my baby? What if I am making the wrong choice? What if I totally screw up Logen b/c im just not competant enough to make these major life-altering decisions?
I don't know what to do. My Mom told me to stop crying and go with my gut instinct. I don't have a gut instinct. Really, I don't. I get negative from one person and positive from another. That's not helping. She told me to stop worrying and just let it be until Thursday. She also said I can't hold Logen back b/c of my fears to 'let him go'. That much makes sense, but I don't think thats all. I'm scared, very much scared. And, I want to stop crying, but I can't. I don't like not being in control of things. On this one, I'm way out of it. What's right? And, what's the wrong choice here? WHAT DO I DO???? What's going to be best for Logen? My non-verbal little bundle of joy.
So, blog family please help me. I need to lean on you b/c I can't do this alone. It takes a village to raise a child, remember? Come out and help me Village :)

Just Pray, Please

We've had some things come up in the last 2 weeks. I'm not really sure where I'd even begin. I know I'm giving a very brief over-view.

And, ya know- there's school (in which I have NO choice but to make all A's). I have a quiz everyday this week... and probably from here on out. I don't disagree with them, it just forces you to do your homework and study. So, all-in-all not a bad idea.

The top of the list is Logen's therapy. We are battleing with 'what we need to do' here. There are some things that have 'evolved' that I don't like and that are certainly NOT benefiting Logen in any way, shape, or form. This is REALLY worrying me. Parker is suppose to start Speech Thursday, but I'm not sure we'll be starting it 'there'. In these kind of situations, I'm suppose to do what's right for my children. And, at this point- how do I know what's right? I know Logen (& Parker once he's a therapy kiddo) has to benefit, he has to be taking something away from it. And, I don't think he is. We noticed this weekend he's walking with toes pointed in. And, I can tell you exactly why. (I can, but I can't- KWIM?)

All of you 'praying people' out there. Can you please, please, please pray for us and our recent 'issues/discoveries'.

Hey Dallas~

Will you send me your email addy, puh-lezzz?
jklduncan@yahoo.com

Thanks :)

Day 4: A Good Day!

School was a joy today :) I only have 1 course on Tues/Thursdays. It's Drama Lecture. My teacher is a Grad student and super upbeat. Today we were split up in groups and put on 2 minute long skits. I have to say, our group was the BEST :) And, i'm not just saying that either... It was cute, and we made everybody laugh. We were even giggly as we did it.

Thanks to all those who have said prayers for me this week! My first French quiz is in the morning. Eck! Wish me luck! Oh, I feel WAY smart in French 1. I'm no longer the biggest idiot in the class... even better!

* I *think* i'm going to try to wear 'real' clothes tomorrow. I have a cute new dress I'd love to wear and I picked up new shoes today for 3 bucks! (I think somebody put it in the system wrong, but it was good for me!) I do lots and lots of walking, so I am not sure how this will go. Decisions... I just feel better when I'm not in slouchy clothing.