Just Sad Today...

I've been a horrible blogger! Perhaps I need a place to vent again. It just seems like the only news we're getting (or I am getting) is negative and I can't see sharing negativeness with the rest of you.

I will. I (and the family) need some more prayers.

My heart procedure was an 11 hour thing, I was awake for 8 of it. I thought childbirth was bad, then my boob job was the worst pain ever. I am telling you- that procedure was the most painful thing I have ever been through. After the 8th hour when it was "decision time" I just begged to be knocked out. I made it awake much longer than I thought I would. The team was amazing at keeping my mind occupied or rubbing a hand or foot. We got rid of the nerve going to the sinus node of the heart and they also ablated some areas near the atrial node inside the heart.

We were so hopeful it would work, but so far it's not done much more than keep my heart rate below 170. Which, is an improvement b/c it would get to 216. The last 2 weeks has probably been the worst. We've changed my heart meds about 5 times (the pharamacy loves me. haha!). My blood pressure dropped so low last weekend that I couldn't get out of bed w/o blacking out. It was scary. I go in for another holter monitor on Wednesday. I am praying we can find something that works.

Last June (2009) I had a CT scan for my circulation- my toes like to turn blue. Weird things! Something in my R femur showed up. So, we did an xray. The radiologist called and wanted an MRI immediately. It was scheduled and I didn't go b/c, honestly, I just didn't want to. I figured it was no biggie and we'd do it later- let's fix the heart first. So, when I went back in to see my internist she kinda fussed at me. In Nov I did the MRI and we found 3 lytic lesions (The orthopedic doc says they are holes) in the femur. If I had a copy of the MRI I would post it. I need to get it.

So, today I went to the Nephrologist (Kidney dr) b/c the ct from Nov (we did a CT and an MRI in Nov) showed a "milk of calcium" deposit and several kidney stones (this is my 2nd time to get several stones in each kidney this year).

Today is what has me sad. The kidney guy said that the kidneys could be pulling the Ca out of my bones and depositing into my kidneys, causing holes in my bones- the right femur is the only one we've MRI'd. It's called "Brown Tumors". We discussed things with the parathyroid gland as well. I googled it. Should not have.

My list of Dr's is growing to be as long as Logen's at this point. The Dr today agreed in saying "you have multiple systems failing you, some of it has to be related". I am so glad that somebody agreed with me on that. He actually said it before I asked about it.

I am just not sure how to handle all of this. I am trying to stay positive. Now, it's just kind of like "really?". I love it when the doc says "this is rare" (as the bone, heart, and now kidney guys all tell me). I have to laugh and say "thats what the ___ doc said to. I must be rare!" haha!

So, anyway... as this crazyness all unravels we just need some prayers. Thanks :) It's putting strain on us all. I will try to be a more faithful blogger!