My heart is hurting....

I walked out of Logen's therapy feeling like my chest weighed 100,000lbs. Besides being so upset (emotionally) about the regression in my baby- I learns something else. Logen's SLP and I were talking about some concerns. She said that she's not sure that Logen is processing stuff. Stuff= for lack of a better word. Example; when we ask Logen to do something- sometimes he follows directions w/o visual cues, and sometimes he just stares at you blankly. We know he hears us. My heart hurts 1) b/c CP is not degenerative. So, does my baby have CP or not? 2) I've never said this before- but, is my baby 'all there'-- and here come the tears. I don't know what to do. I hate this. Absolutely hate this. It's not fair. I want to lay in the floor and cry, like a baby. Worse than a baby, like a mommy who's lost something. My child is is still here, so why does it hurt so badly?

I'm begging you for prayers at this point. For me, for Logen, for our family, for strength.....

Our SLP is going to write a list of concerns for me to relay to the Neuro when I call them Friday after the SS. I will post the list here as well as what the APN says.