Splendid Mayhem: Blogger Un-Motivated

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Sunday, April 19, 2009

Blogger Un-Motivated

So many things going on right now. I have no desire to blog. I used to love blogging. It was a great way to 'release' my emotions.

There are many things going on with Logen that I can't say here. Just pray.
There's stuff I am struggling with.

2 of my friends have been diagnosed with cancer.

Danielle has been diagnosed with type 1 cervical cancer. She has 2 small children. Please pray.
Fallon has been diagnosed with type 3 cervical cancer. She recently lost a set of twins. She has a young daughter. The outlook is not good. Pray for her, please.

It just seems like there are so many negative things going on around me. I can't seem to pick myself up. Just keep on praying for our family, please.

3 comments:

DawnApril 19, 2009 at 9:03 PM
Always praying Jess, keep the faith. You will get through this. So sorry to hear about your friends.
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KieraApril 20, 2009 at 10:06 PM
That is awful news about your friends. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself. We completely understand if blogging is not the way to let out your emotions at this time. We are hear in whatever form you need us to be. Thoughts and prayers!
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ErinApril 23, 2009 at 1:20 PM
I will keep everyone in my prayers
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