Splendid Mayhem: I'm Home!

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

I'm Home!

I was discharged Thursday afternoon. Things look ok, I go back in 1 week for labs- my potassium was still low on days 2 & 3 of labs (and they'd give me a supplement everyday). So, I left for meds to take for heart health 4x a day. I'm 24! My d/c nurse said it nicely and I have to agree- nobody my age should have to take this many medications for her heart. A little self pity, I guess.

I'm home, picking right back up and going about our business. I haven't felt really good. The meds totally wear me out. And, I've been seeing doubles! (its the meds!) They said it would take a while for me to adjust to them. Oh, boy! haha The boys are happy Momma is home, but they are having some Nana withdrawls!!!!

I'm working on getting my private blog back up.... send me an email if you're interested, I will need your addy to add you.

3 comments:

ErinMay 16, 2009 at 11:15 AM
Welcome home, I hope you are feeling better.
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ErinMay 16, 2009 at 7:52 PM
I hope you feel on top of the world soon! Welcome home, and try to stay out of those not-so-nice hospitals.
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BarbaraMay 18, 2009 at 9:00 PM
I'm glad you're home. Hospitals aren't fun. I hope things level out soon with your meds and you start feeling more like yourself.
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