Logen is DESPERATE for your prayers. Pray blog family, PLEASE pray. Just grab this code and add it to your blog (html gadget) so you can help us spread the word! Thanks! Pray for Logen

A sincere THANK YOU to all of you who have added this to your blog! And, to Anelys for creating such a cute blinkie!!

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Suspected Tumor

I've been 'Internet-less' for the last few days.

I went to my Cardiologist Tuesday. My Echo Stress test/EKG's have made my Dr suspicious of a tumor on one of my kidneys. I have a CT Scan setup for Tuesday and a 24 hour urine test this week. I see him again January 21st for results. He is going to refer me to a electrophysicist? Something about 'burning/laser' the 'switch' in my heart. I was a little tuned out on that. He used the 'light switch' metaphor. A heart is like a light switch. A normal heart switches on 60-80 times a minute. Mine changes from 90 to 160 w/o much exertion.

My mom had a tumor the size of Parker's head (at the time, about 5 months old) last year. It was located near her left kidney. They could not save her left adrenal gland either. When I mentioned this (after my Dr told me he is suspicious of a tumor) he got a concerned look in his eye and was more adamant about getting the tests done sooner.

I'm just numb. I think God is trying to tell me something. I go through everyday thinking 'what else is going to happen. I don't think we can possibly handle anything else.' Maybe I need more faith. Patience? I'm not sure. I'm numb and I'm scared. I'm praying that 2009 is a better year!

Sunday, December 21, 2008

Angels Among Us

We do not know who they are, but there really are Angels out there- people who truly care about people and are doing great things in this world. We know, we've experienced it. And are amazed. Overjoyed. Thankful. Speechless.

Friday night when we came home from a family Christmas get together with friend's- our Children's "Christmas" was on the door step. Somebody had anonymously left 2 huge "Santa sacks" of gifts (one for each boy), a box of pull ups, wipes, 2 Wal-Mart gift cards, a card and a kind letter. The letter explained that whomever this was had learned of Logen and of our family and our prayer request/Logen's medical condition & They just wanted to let us know they were praying. Wow.

Adam & I were teary eyed and speechless. December has been a rough month not only b/c of the recent 'findings' but, Adam didn't get paid for the week we were in the hospital with Logen. Christmas was going to be 'tight' this year. If it weren't for my Mom and some good friends, I have no idea how we would have even made our house payment. We've emptied our savings paying St Louis bills and daycare. Coming home to this blessing was a huge relief. We are so incredibly thankful. I hope whoever did this is reading, b/c we want to thank you. There are not enough words in the world to show our gratitude. Because of you, our boys will have gifts to unwrap on Christmas morning. And, we were able to go to Wal-Mart tonight to get some much needed items!! We were out of essentials like milk and bread.

THANK YOU. THANK YOU. THANK YOU. Your prayers alone are enough. God Bless You.

KEEP ON PRAYIN' FOR LOGEN

ER: Parker P*N*S Injury

Here's a recap of last night's ER visit-

Nurse: Why are you here?
Me: My 2 y/o's penis is black on the end and it's swollen. We are worried about him.
Nurse: How did this happen?
Me: Uh, my boys were in the shower with their dad and I was standing right there, and well, we aren't really sure- Parker just stood up, grabbed his privates and was screaming that blood-curdling scream. We put ice on it, that didn't help the swelling and it certainly hasn't helped the pain.

* Nurse picks up the phone and expedites us to a room. 2.5 hours later, he is given Motrin (for pain/swelling) and the doctor puts a 'pee-pee' bag on him. He tells him that if he goes pee he can probably go home. He just cried and cried. He kept saying, 'pee'. Adam & I were hurting for him. After he finally went 'pee', he said- 'I pee, ona go ome' When the nurse came in to take the bag off- Parker made sure to tell him he 'pee' and he 'ona go ome'. The Dr came in and said there was no blood in the urine! Yay. It took an hour to d/c us.

He's got a hematoma on the end and it's still swollen. We've thrown every toy that was in the bath tub away. I am still not sure what he did. It looks like it got pinched on something. Logen couldn't have done that much damage b/c of 'hand control' issues. It had to have been a toy when he was sliding on his tummy. 2 adults were standing right there with our eyes on the boys and neither of us saw it. We feel horrible! Poor little man struggles with going potty and doesn't want to be washed or wiped. We are suppose to give him Motrin for the next 24 hours (or 1-2 days as we think he needs it).

It's just one thing after another, 'eh?!

KEEP ON PRAYIN' FOR LOGEN!

Friday, December 19, 2008

Dishwasher Mishap

Pictures speak louder than words. Somebody put to much soap in the dishwasher... It turned out to be great bubble therapy. And, a good way to clean the floor!


How Many Times A Day Can A Mom Say...

Sunglasses do not go in the potty.

Please don't eat food out of the trash. That's yucky.

Please don't take your pants off.

We do not bite. We do not hit. I think you need to visit the time out rug.

Please don't hang on the fish tank. You are going to scare the fish.

Let's not feed the fishies your toys. Or toilet paper.

No climbing on the table, thats where we eat our food.

* Why is it that {My} kids listen to everybody, but me? I found myself saying the above phrases more than once yesterday. *

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Parker's "Due Date"


Is it weird that 2 years later I still think.... "He should be 2 today and not 6 weeks ago?" I used to think it was odd for people to ___ (ah, snap. I totally lost that word in my head) in the past over something like this. Then we fought the NICU battle and had a 6 week old on our due date. Not so crazy anymore.
My boys are so CUTE!!! :) I think I posted somewhere I'd still be posting Florida pictures in December! Mr Logen picked out his clothes, it was his birthday!

I'M DONE! I'M DONE!

I took my last final today! I cannot tell you the HUGE feeling of relief today brought. (After my exam, of course!)

My French grade has been posted.... I got an A!!! My Theatre grade was also posted, also an A!

I feel accomplished. I worked my booty off!!!!

Side Note: I go in Thursday for a Holter Monitor & I see the Cardiologist Tuesday. The heart med I started has done ZIP! I've been having some funky chest pain that will go into my shoulder, creep to my elbow and then make my fingers tingle. Apparently the Heart Center doesn't read your stress echo's until the day of your appt? The nurse from my Internal Med Dr called & said they were going to see if they could get it read before next week. We shall see.

Keep On Prayin' For My Logen!

Monday, December 15, 2008

"It's Just Not Fair...

... that he has to have so much to help his little body work right." A, Logen's Daddy

Logen was up with some MAJOR constipation tonight. It lasted over an hour before even a suppository gave him relief. He's on Miralax daily- but it must be time for a dose increase. I wonder if the pediasure has any role in this? He was just pitiful. He couldn't lay still, his little face was all scrunched up, he was crying, his tummy was tight- and nothing we were doing was helping. It's awful when you watch your baby hurt and there is nothing you are able to do to comfort them!!! I know every Momma out there will agree with me!

A Logen Story, Prayers Needed!

The last 5 years have been a whirl-wind. Logen has certainly kept us on our toes! After spending a week in Children's at the beginning of December 2008 & begging you all for prayers- a blog friend said she'd create a 'Pray For Logen' blinkie. I will post this link so that you all can add the blinkie to your blog or where ever you'd like. You can also link it to our blog/this post.
So, I wanted to sum up in a single post why we are in desperate need of prayers.

Logen was diagnosed with Cerebral Palsy January 31, 2005 at 18 months old. I will never forget that day. Just a few hours before he had had an 'abnormal' MRI. Our Neuro didn't come out and say CP, so I asked her. Her exact response was "You could say that". So we left, And I cried the entire 4 hour drive home. I was not ok with the Dx. Honestly, I have never accepted it. As Logen's mom, I had a little 'tug' that said, nah- this can't be it.

We searched for different Neuro's. I spent 18 months working to get into St Louis Children's Cerebral Palsy Center. The very first time we saw this Neuro she said, This is atypical CP, if CP at all. My 'tug' was partially confirmed. She'd never had a case quit like Logen's. Infact, after spending nearly a week in the hospital at the beginning of this month- we heard about 10 Doctor's say this. My sweet baby boy is a mystery. Our 'main' neuro, we'll call him W, was walking out of our room at one point and said "He's definitely a mystery and we will do our best to figure it out. There's a 50% chance we won't. But, we will be happy to refer you anywhere we need to." I said, ok- we'll go to Guam or Sweden or wherever we need to go. We've been passed from Dr to Dr trying to figure this out over the last 4 years.

The 2nd MRI, 100% normal. You know, you pray and pray for a miracle. We prayed for a clean MRI. We got it! Praise God. But, now... what? We are looking at a 'worse' (I hate to say that b/c who wants ANY dx period?! I know my SN friends know what I mean though) dx. He doesn't speak. He aspirates. His tone is abnormal. His EEG is constantly 'abnormal' and looks 'worse' when he sleeps. His hands don't function as ours do. He started having seizures at 4.5 years old. They have gotten worse in the past few months. He takes medication 7 times a day. He is also not growing (he's been in the same size clothing since before I got pregnant with Parker in the spring of '06) and has not been eating much. We are seeing a nutritionist and have started pediasure. Something is 'not right' and we have got to get it figured out!!

Have you ever prayed that your child has CP? That it's something that doesn't affect your child's life-span?

We are looking at the possibility of Angelmans/Prader-Willi Syndrome. It's a chromosomal mutation, deletion, or something on the 15th chromosome. I've had some of our therapists say, no- I've seen kids with this and it doesn't fit. Some said, maybe. I don't know. We've done research. The infant stuff fits. Not all of it does. But W said not everything does fit Logen, but it's a place to start. We are waiting for other genetic tests and this test to come back. We see a slew of dr's in January. I cannot wait for these appts.

We need prayers b/c the future is uncertain. We don't want it to be Angelmans. The info W gave us is 'not-so-great.' Never speaking & shorter than average life span are a few less than desirable characteristics.

For now, the CP dx has been taken away. Seizures are the primary dx. Developmental delay is second. Along with 3 or 4 other dx's.

We are desperate for prayers. And, of course answers. I've known all along it's not CP. That Dx has never felt right.

KEEP ON PRAYIN'

Sunday, December 14, 2008

So It's Sunday...

My French final went well. I found out I only needed to make a 65% (which is a D) on the final to keep an A in the class. If I'd only known that BEFORE Friday morning, maybe I wouldn't have studied so much. Nah, doubt it. It's a good feeling to have knowing you can nearly fail a final and still have an A. :)

I got about 3 hours of sleep from Thursday to Saturday. (I am so thankful for a hubby that let me come home and sleep till 4pm yesterday afternoon!) I had an all night panic attack Thursday night freaking out about Saturday mornings play. I don't think I blogged about it, but our final was a 10 minute play. My teacher selected me as the Director. It was more than stressful as we had to have lights, sound, the whole 9 yards. I spent about 5 hours with the group Friday night rehearsing and was up most of the night doing things (like doing props and writing papers that certain members weren't going to get done- for that reason, I do not like group projects) I felt like I ended up doing most of the work myself. I am SOOO glad it's over! One person didn't even show up to our final rehearsal... Ahhh. I could go on, but I won't! I'm not sure what our grade will be, but I hope to keep my A.

I haven't studied like I should for tomorrow's (7:30am) final. I'm avoiding it now. I found out about 2 weeks ago this very same class is going to transfer as something I have already taken elsewhere (and gotten and A in, this go around I think I'll end up with a B. :(. This makes me sad)

Logen is doing well. We are taking one day at a time. Both boys have been sick in the last week. Snot, fevers, etc. Parker keeps drinking insane amounts of liquid and making himself vomit. Let me tell you how much fun that's been! Woo hoo. Diarrhea too. Poor kid. Both kiddos went to see the ped- he found nothing wrong with them, illness wise.

One of my blogger buddies is going to make a "Pray for Logen" blinkie. I will post it soon (I have to get the info to her first) This is for me, as well as anybody that wants to post on their blog saying they are praying too. The more prayers the better!!

I have some major 'stuff' going on (besides precious little Logen stuff), I was going to not blog about it. But, I think I want some advice. Or atleast your thoughts. I'll get back to you after tomorrows final. I gotta go study... b-o-r-i-n-g

Thank you all for your continued prayers.
Love & Hugs ~ J

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