Splendid Mayhem: I'M DONE! I'M DONE!

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

I'M DONE! I'M DONE!

I took my last final today! I cannot tell you the HUGE feeling of relief today brought. (After my exam, of course!)

My French grade has been posted.... I got an A!!! My Theatre grade was also posted, also an A!

I feel accomplished. I worked my booty off!!!!

Side Note: I go in Thursday for a Holter Monitor & I see the Cardiologist Tuesday. The heart med I started has done ZIP! I've been having some funky chest pain that will go into my shoulder, creep to my elbow and then make my fingers tingle. Apparently the Heart Center doesn't read your stress echo's until the day of your appt? The nurse from my Internal Med Dr called & said they were going to see if they could get it read before next week. We shall see.

Keep On Prayin' For My Logen!

6 comments:

ellen :)December 16, 2008 at 10:51 PM
Yah, Jess!! Congrats! (I know that feeling of relief!...:)

still praying for Logen and now for you that you get answers to your medical issues!
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* ~ *Jessica* ~ *December 16, 2008 at 10:55 PM
Thank you Ellen!!!!!
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KieraDecember 16, 2008 at 11:32 PM
CONGRATS JESS!! Doesn't it feel good to be done for the semester! It is one less thing to worry about and it sounds like you kicked behind in your classes (I had no doubt!)

I am continuing to pray for Logan. Jen (Reier's Mom from BBC) and I met up for lunch today and she is thinking of you also!
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MelissaDecember 16, 2008 at 11:55 PM
YAY for Jess!!! WOO HOO! You ROCK, Momma!! :)
(( HUGS))
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Popcorn HouseDecember 17, 2008 at 9:46 PM
Yah! What a relief. I am continuing to remember Logen in my prayers.
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BarbaraDecember 18, 2008 at 4:26 PM
Well done!

I hope you get your heart issue figured out soon. I think of your family often and I'm pulling for you guys!
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