Splendid Mayhem

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Parker is now a very mobile baby! He is getting around nicely via army crawling! He's really bugging his big brother now! I feel like the biggest nag! I cannot count the times in a day that I am getting on to Logen for: hitting, climbing on, taking away toys, rolling his brother over, etc.... The list is endless! It's wonderful to see them play together- when they play! Parker has developed a little bit of an attitude and his personality is very cute! He's also getting into the "seperation anxiety" stage. I ran to the grocery store the other day and Parker saw me leave (Adam was here, not to worry) he screamed the entire time I was gone! He's truely a "Momma's Boy!"

1 comment:

AnonymousJuly 13, 2007 at 8:51 AM
I love watching them together-makes me want to give Bella a lil brother or sister (yeah that thought lasts for about 5 seconds LOL). Most adorable thing ever was when Parker was fussing and Logen ran over and patted his bottom-THAT is awesome!!! I hope Bella and her lil person are that close.
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