Splendid Mayhem: Just Pray, Please

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Monday, September 1, 2008

Just Pray, Please

We've had some things come up in the last 2 weeks. I'm not really sure where I'd even begin. I know I'm giving a very brief over-view.

And, ya know- there's school (in which I have NO choice but to make all A's). I have a quiz everyday this week... and probably from here on out. I don't disagree with them, it just forces you to do your homework and study. So, all-in-all not a bad idea.

The top of the list is Logen's therapy. We are battleing with 'what we need to do' here. There are some things that have 'evolved' that I don't like and that are certainly NOT benefiting Logen in any way, shape, or form. This is REALLY worrying me. Parker is suppose to start Speech Thursday, but I'm not sure we'll be starting it 'there'. In these kind of situations, I'm suppose to do what's right for my children. And, at this point- how do I know what's right? I know Logen (& Parker once he's a therapy kiddo) has to benefit, he has to be taking something away from it. And, I don't think he is. We noticed this weekend he's walking with toes pointed in. And, I can tell you exactly why. (I can, but I can't- KWIM?)

All of you 'praying people' out there. Can you please, please, please pray for us and our recent 'issues/discoveries'.