4 years ago....

We found out we were expecting a baby on New Years Eve 2002. My pregnancy was pretty normal- or so we thought. I bled alot. More than "normal". Actually, bleeding is not normal at all when your pregnant. Wish I would have known that! My OB was an idiot. I wish we would have known then. I had several UTI's- also un-normal.

On August 20th 4 years ago I found out I was 4cm dialated. (I was 36 wks.) My OB sent me home and told me to get ready b/c we'd have a baby by Sunday (8/20 was on a Wednesay in 2003). So, silly me went out shopping to make sure we had the final baby things. My Mom & Paige came over to help me finish getting Logen's room done & the house clean. When Adam got home from work, we packed our bags. I sat up all night in tears. I was not prepared for motherhood. I talked (ok, she talked I cried) to my mom for a few hours on the phone. She had to go to bed b/c she had to get up and work in the morning. So, I called my big sis. She listened to me cry for a while. She had a few encouraging words to, I'm sure! haha I never settled down that night. I knew I was going to be somebody's mom very soon and it was totally overwhelming.

I had an appt Thursday (8/21) morning to check my cervix. I went in and was at 5cm. My OB looked at me and said, "Hop on over to the hospital, you're going to have a baby". So, Adam & I hopped on over to the hospital. By the time we got there and checked in (it was about 1pm) I was at a 6. Mind you, the hospital was just across the street. (We did make a pit stop at my mom's work to tell her she'd better get to the hospital too! Her work was also across the street)I remember sitting in the parking lot calling my Dad and telling him Logen was going to arrive in the next several hours.

I was in a great mood- I wasn't having contractions at all. I was on my phone, literally calling everybody in my address book to say- "I'm in labor!" Most were shocked I called while in labor!

I got an IV of pitcin to jump start contractions. I was having baby ones, nothing painful. They kept upping the pitocin though. I eventually felt them and decided I wanted big drugs! So, I got an epidural. All was good again. The Dr came back in and told me it was time to push- I was 10cm. I remember saying "Just give me 30 more minutes, I really need a nap before I become a mom!" No go on that one. Logen was ready to join the world.

Logen was born at 5:57pm. He weighed in at 6.2lbs and was 19.5 inches. He tinkled on the OB during his grand entry. He was also blue- the first words out of Adam & my mouth were "Is he ok?!" I didn't realize how blue he really was until the birth of Parker. He was pink!! I actually thought I had a wonderful labor until I watched the video a few times. Logen's HR was around 100 or lower my entire labor. And, we kept losing the heart beat.

Logen has been an absolute joy. He was and is one of the BEST gifts from God. His life is truely a cause for celebration. He's over come so much!! His smile melts hearts. (That's probably why he gets away with a LOT!)

His life has not been an easy one. How do you sum up your child's life? I cannot tell you the hardships we have all faced in the last four years. The emotional struggles, the worrying, the anxiety, the nervousness. I can go on. I want to break down and cry everytime I see him struggle. It's not right for children to struggle like he does. I know there are children much worse than Logen. I know we are very, very lucky to have a child with a mild physical form of CP. Speech is severe. I remember being told my child may not walk or run. And, by God's grace- he does! Speech worries me, more than you know. I have to remember to have faith in our Lord. Sometimes, it's so very hard to do so.

Enough of the sad stuff.... it's my baby boy's birthday!!!!! Let's be HAPPY & rejoice in this beautiful life!

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Logen,
Mommy & Daddy love you with all of our heart. You are the light of our lives. We are so proud of you. Everything you do is truely remarkable. We praise the Lord for every "inch stone"; every "mile stone" you hit.

I never knew how much seeing you walk for the first time would mean to me. I watch you take a step and I thank God. I thank God with every step. You are doing wonderful. You are one amazing little boy. You are my sunshine, my hope, my joy, my life. You are an awesome gift from God. A very special gift from God. And, I LOVE you more than you can imagine. Being your Mommy has been one of the greatest gifts in my life. Thank you for giving me that opportunity.

I love you Logen. To the moon and stars and ALL the way back......

XOXO,
Mommy

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My Perfect Child

As my children were born, I wanted them to be perfect.

When they were babies, wanted them to smile and be content playing with their toys.

I wanted them to be happy and to laugh continually instead of crying and being demanding, wanted them to see the beautiful side of life.

As they grew older, I wanted them to be giving instead of selfish.

I wanted them to skip the terrible twos.

I wanted them to stay innocent forever.

As they became teen-agers, I wanted them to be obedient and not rebellious, mannerly and not mouthy.

I wanted them to be full of love, gentle and kind-hearted.

"Oh, God, give me a child like this" was often my prayer.

One day he did.

Some call him handicapped... I call him Perfect!!

(author unknown)