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A sincere THANK YOU to all of you who have added this to your blog! And, to Anelys for creating such a cute blinkie!!

Friday, August 3, 2007

Sad

Most of the time, we are in our little "Logen world". Logen hits milestones and does things on "Logen time". It isn't until we step out into the "real world" that I realize how much my heart aches for him. Last night, my mom & I were walking down the side walk. Logen was riding his tricycle (he cannot use the pedals, just pushes with his feet) in front of us. There were 4 kids outside playing- Logen is such a people watcher- he stopped to "gawk" at them. 3 were playing basketball and one was riding his bike in circles around us. The 'bike boy' was just a little older than Logen. I looked at the 2 on their bikes and wanted to cry right then & there. The little boy was talking to Logen and all Logen could do was babble back. It hurts... Why does it have to hurt so bad? Why would God put children through this? Does Logen realize how different he really is? The little boy said, Logen, your mom is calling you. (We couldn't get LOgen to come back towards the house with us!) I kept waiting for the boy to ask why Logen didn't talk to him or why Logen was drooling, etc. I am not prepared to answer those types of questions from children. Adults, ok- but not his peers.

Sometimes, I just want to stay inside & avoid the real world forever. I want Logen to be ok. To ride bikes & play ball.

Life really isn't fair. Especially for the children who are "different".

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7 comments:

  1. Jess,
    I totally get ya! Isn't it hard to imagine explaining to the little ones?? I have to explain to Luke's friends, and they have been good, but they are also older...keep your chin up! Little Logen is doing awesome!! Look at all that he CAN do! :) And I LOVE all of the pics on here! :)

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  2. I'm so sorry. I'm dreading these things. I wish my son could stay little forever...

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  3. Sorry honey. I too find myself aching for my Luke. I see it everyday when I step outside my door. In fact, I said to my husband one day...'maybe we should move to the country'. True story.

    Hugs sweetie....you are not alone.

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  4. I love you and your honesty. Thank you for saying what we are all thinking all of the time. It's hard when our children are on their own timeline...and we just want ANYTHING on a "normal" timeline. Hearbreaking...and all of our hearts break with you.

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  5. Melissa (Joshie-n-Mia'sMommy)August 4, 2007 at 5:38 PM

    Oh,Jess.....another opportunity for a mention of "CP Village".....you know, the place where we can all go live & not feel "different". I know how you feel, sweetie....not that it helps much but just know you're not alone!! On a positive note, I think our kiddos are some of the HAPPIEST & CUTEST that I have ever seen!! Logen's smile could melt anyone's heart!!!

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  6. On an upside note..I tagged you!
    check my blog!

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  7. What are you trying to make me cry? lol. I have been in your boat many times but I have had to answer kids questions. Why does he have those things on his legs? Why can't he walk? What's wrong with his legs? I haven't minded yet because I rather the kids ask then assume something else. It is just one of those things we have to accept and get used to. I am still not used to all the staring when Brendan uses his walker. I avoid all eye contact. I hate it!!!

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