Splendid Mayhem: Me Update

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Friday, July 18, 2008

Me Update

My OB is calling in some sort of antibio cream (kinda like the OTC stuff you do at night, the 1 time at night stuff thats icky and messy). If it doesn't work- I am suppose to call the on call and let them know.

As for the indigestion, I was explaining it to my Momma. She thinks it's an ulcer. The Dr said thats what it sounds like as well. When I swallow, eat or drink- it feels like I am swallowing nuts and bolts. Or the pepper shaker. I can't breath when I lay down, it hurts terribly!

So, thats whats up now--- more drama on the 'us' front. It feels never ending. Today is busy- I'm leaving work, going home to get the check from AIG to pay for my van's repairs, taking the rental van to Enterprise, they'll take me to get my van, I'm hoping to tan. I think Adam is going to a movie with a few guys tonight (the new Superman one).

Hugs- Have a great w/e!!!

1 comment:

DawnJuly 18, 2008 at 8:56 PM
Still hoping you guys catch that big break! Maybe you're going to win the lottery or Extreme Makeover Home Edition bus will be rolling up one of these days!

Hope things turn around for you soon. I feel your pain.
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