Splendid Mayhem: Anxious, Nervous, Scared

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Anxious, Nervous, Scared

I'm freaking out about today's appointment.... would you keep me in your prayers today?

I have a test in all of my classes next week- getting ready for Thanksgiving break. I love it when they hit you 3 days in a row. :(

I gave Logen his Rx cough med and Motrin last night- no fever this morning. He still has a nasty cough and horrible, icky snotty nose. Poor Parker has it too! He's got another ear infection! :(

Parker's well child visit last Thursday turned into a sick kid one when daycare called 1 hour pre-appt and told me he had fever. He had only been off his antibiotics from the last ear infection for 7 days. I think tubes are in his near future!!! He's made it up to the 26 lb marker! I'm 100% that is not accurate, I argued with the nurse b/c less than weeks before he was 24lbs naked. At 2, they weigh with clothes on. So, on the charts it appears that in less than 2 weeks time, he's gained 2 lbs. Oh, well-- charts don't matter, right?!