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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Broken Heart & Swollen Eyes

Emptiness, shattered dreams, anger, fear.... that's how I've felt for the last 24 hours.

I'll start way back.
No period in October, late period in November.
Major pelvic pain in October- discovery: cervical infection. Treatment: 10 days of antibiotics.
October: nausea, vomiting, smells making me ill, a *bump* in the belly (nobody else noticed, but I saw me naked- so I did) I just *knew* something was different.
OBGYN appt yesterday: Positive pee test.
Ultrasound: Nothing. Uterus, a piece of shit. Swollen, can't keep a pregnancy piece of crap uterus.
Left with a script for an antibiotic (b/c of swollen uterus and I guess when you m/c they sometimes put you on an antibio) and diflucan in case it gives me a yeast infection. Wait to lose 'baby'.
Last Night: grief, sadness, pain (physically, emotionally)
This Morning: Woke up with pelvic pain. Pushed through it. Got Parker to his school. Went to bathroom b/c I felt something "down there". Sharp pains, big goopy, clumpy blood. Pain. Tears and pain. And, 1 broken hearted Mother who hurts. And I wanted to scoop it up and put it back in my sucky uterus and tell it to stick!

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  1. Oh, Jess....sweet girl...hang in there, honey. I had no idea.....my prayers are with you..
    Love you

  2. Oh hun, I am so sorry to hear about this. I am praying for you and thinking of you. Keep us posted please.

  3. Oh sweet girl!
    My heart is hurting for you!
    I am so sorry for your loss.
    i will certainly keep you in my prayers!!

  4. Oh Jess! I'm so sorry! Big hugs! Love ya!

  5. Oh Jess... My heart hurts for you. I am thinking about you and praying for you.

    Big cyber hugs

  6. So sorry to hear about your loss. Will keep you in my prayers...

  7. Oh Jess...I'm so sorry. Your post brought tears to my eyes. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  8. Oh Jess, I'm so sorry. Rough week just doesn't seem to do justice to how things are going for you. You'll be in my prayers.

  9. If my arms could reach up the miles I would hug you...yucky uterus and all.

  10. Jess,
    I am so sorry! I am sending BIG hugs and many prayers your way...I cannot imagine your pain...

  11. Aww, honey, I'm so sorry. I've not kept up on this very well, so I'm just now reading this. Hugs! I can't say I know how you feel, really. But I hope you're doing okay. Love you.


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