Broken Heart & Swollen Eyes

Emptiness, shattered dreams, anger, fear.... that's how I've felt for the last 24 hours.

I'll start way back.
No period in October, late period in November.
Major pelvic pain in October- discovery: cervical infection. Treatment: 10 days of antibiotics.
October: nausea, vomiting, smells making me ill, a *bump* in the belly (nobody else noticed, but I saw me naked- so I did) I just *knew* something was different.
OBGYN appt yesterday: Positive pee test.
Ultrasound: Nothing. Uterus, a piece of shit. Swollen, can't keep a pregnancy piece of crap uterus.
Left with a script for an antibiotic (b/c of swollen uterus and I guess when you m/c they sometimes put you on an antibio) and diflucan in case it gives me a yeast infection. Wait to lose 'baby'.
Last Night: grief, sadness, pain (physically, emotionally)
This Morning: Woke up with pelvic pain. Pushed through it. Got Parker to his school. Went to bathroom b/c I felt something "down there". Sharp pains, big goopy, clumpy blood. Pain. Tears and pain. And, 1 broken hearted Mother who hurts. And I wanted to scoop it up and put it back in my sucky uterus and tell it to stick!