Splendid Mayhem: I've Noticed Today-

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Wednesday, October 1, 2008

I've Noticed Today-

* I have a hole in my pants- in the butt, where it's sewn together. Thank goodness I have a sweat shirt to toe around my waste!
* The colleges toilet paper is like 1/4 ply. Not kidding, you can read through it!
* There is ALWAYS somebody at the mirror doing makeup or hair. It *almost* makes me feel bad for not fixing mine all the time, almost.
* Parker has 1 pair of pants that fit. And, they are still a little to big. He'll be 2 in a month and 18 months are too big. Go figure~
* Logen's had 2 (possibly 3) seizures already today. Lovely. WTH is up with this?!
* I have alot of studying to get done and shouldn't be blogging. :P

So, I learned that in the age group 18-24 1 in 4 people have a STD. WOW~ So, when I go to the bathroom at school, I'm all creeped out. Like, don't touch anything b/c like only 1 other peron (statistically) in here is 'clean'. Since when did STD's get so bad. I'm oblivious.

Going to class. Say a prayer for Logen today. He's had it rough!

2 comments:

ellen :)October 1, 2008 at 10:14 PM
Jess,
I'm saying a prayer that Logen's seizures get under control quickly. Sammy is only 3 1/2 and 33 lbs. and he has to be on 100 mg. 2x a day of the Zonegran to keep his myoclonic seizures at bay! A big dose for a little man, so don't be upset if they have to up Logen's dosage again...it's for the best if it tames the seizures...And we give Sam his Prevacid 1/2 hr. before dinner because his reflux happens at night when he lays down (we assume), so the GI agreed with us that PM was better for him. The Prevacid was such a great thing for helping him go back to sleeping most nights all the way through again! :)

Ellen :)
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The Mom behind the ChaosOctober 2, 2008 at 8:47 AM
Hang in there friend!!
Prayers for ALL of you!!
Dallas
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