Here are some examples:
Milestone- Logen learned how to unbuckled himself in his booster seat yesterday. I know this when my hair is being pulled. I freak out thinking, "Crap, Did I really forgot to buckle him in?" I pull over, and buckle him in. A few minutes later, he's tugging on my hair again. I'm thinking, "Wait a minute. Logen, are you seriously unbuckling yourself? YAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!!!! Way to go big man! I am so proud of you."
Realization: Had Parker been tugging on my hair; he wouldn't have gotten a "yay, I'm proud of you" He'd have been in trouble and a speech about how "We don't climb out of our car seats in a moving vehicles, blah, blah, blah"
So, what do you do in these cases? Is it fair to praise one child for something and punish the other b/c they 'know better'? Do we praise when Parker is not around? This (and there have been and will be many more times when similiar things will occur) is HUGE for Logen. He was able to isolate his pointer finger, turn his head to look down, and PUSH hard enough to get the seat belt unbuckled! Holy Cow. Thats amazing!!!!!!! Dangerous, yes. But he's only doing it (atleast today!) when we get into parking spots. And, you can bet he's the first to be unbuckled!
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Logen bit Parker last night. Parker cried b/c it hurt- Logen nearly drew blood. He bites hard. Since Tabasco round 1 Parker has not bitten. He's been warned and he cries histerically 'no sauce'. So, Parker says-- 'Bubba bite. Hot Sauce'. Adam and I were like, "oh. hmmm." You see, Logen doesn't quite feel (nor taste) like you and I. We both knew it wouldn't bother him. But, again, do you do it to one child and not the other? I felt comfort in the fact that it wouldn't burn Logen's tongue (just in case he doesn't really know what's up). I put a tiny, tiny amount in a dropper and put in on his tongue so Parker could see me. Logen didn't cry. He didn't flinch. Adam & I knew that this was most likely the response we would get, but Parker was staring at him with this look like, 'wait a minute. Is that the same bottle of sauce you put on my tongue b/c it hurt and I cried?!?!'
I just don't know on that one. I think it was a good example to set for Parker. If you bite, you will get nasty stuff on your tongue (that doesn't upset your brother).
Being a parent is no simple task. We face challenges every day, in every way. And, like all (good, loving) parents- we do what we know to work through them. But, sometimes I'm asking you--we doubt ourselves. So, I'd like to know what would you do?
4 months ago
Hahaha awww.. I can just imagine Parker's 'what?!' face when Logan had the hot sauce! As for the double standards, I can't really comment but my mum used to do similar with me and my twin bro, and he hasn't turned out too bad!
ReplyDeleteJess - I know that this is a serious post, but I keep giggling and what Parker must have thought about the hot sauce. I can only see it "Whoa man, I am not going to mess with him, he is tough. Look at him take that hot sauce!"
ReplyDeleteIn all seriousness, I do think it is OK to treat the kids differently. Parker will need to learn that things are handled differently between the two of them. Now, how to explain that to a 2.5 year old has me stumped.
You are in a rough position and I admire you for asking these questions. I am interested to see how the other parents respond.
I really wish I could help. But being the parent of just Audrianna doesnt help much. But when I am babysitting which happens alot I always give audrianna the same dicipline that the other girls get so if they throw something and are told not and do it again they get time out the same goes for audrianna.
ReplyDeleteI missed quite a few post. I guess my google reader is malfunctioning.
ReplyDeleteI think about this all the time. I do treat Sammy differently. But it isn't just me, it is my big girls too. He is our baby. They give him everything, do everything for him. I try to tell them to STOP doing it, but he is their baby too. I wonder if we would treat him the same way minus the CP, or if it the combo. I don't know. So basically I have no advice for you :O). If you figure it out let me know!