Splendid Mayhem: Hmmm....

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Hmmm....

I realized in the past week that maybe 13 hours (with Calculus and Microbiology!), Motherhood, a biting toddler, and a SN Kindergartner don't mesh together quite like my little mind mapped out. Of course- who could picture their 2 y/o biting?!?! haha

Today, we got our Micro tests back. The average was a 68! Doesn't that tell the teacher something???? I was relieved to get a 71. Pathetic, I know. I have NEVER gotten a C! I should be in tears! I'm actually happy about it. When he told us the lowest grade was a 35 I was flipping out thinking, "It's mine!". He even had a 19 in one of his other classes. Again, does that not tell the guy something?!?! I won't make it a habit, I promise! Totally going to screw up my GPA. Maybe I can pull things together. We can drop 1 exam. Maybe this will be my lowest, I cannot help but think it won't be.

I read the Twilight series (4 books) in less than 2 weeks. Maybe I should have put that off until Spring Break.... I recommend you submerse yourself in those books too. I passed them off to 2 other people, 1 'hates' me for it. She's adicted now. I think it's great b/c now she knows how I felt. :P

1 comment:

KieraFebruary 19, 2009 at 9:16 PM
I am always so impressed with you girl! You have amazing stamina to be able to do all of this class work. I do not know how you balance it all. Do not worry about Micro. It will all work out somehow! I am thinking of you!
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