News

So, I am beginning to think my blog is a downer. Do I ever post happy posts?

I went to the OB today (no, I am not pregnant!). We changed my birthcontrol (again). We increased the hormones. This will tell us if my migraines are hormonal. It should make them worse. *sigh* Our other option was to stop birthcontrol to see if they go away. We did this at the beginning of the year, no such luck. Plus, I am not a fan of 3 children- atleast no yet. My boys are more than I an handle sometimes. (Yes, I am VERY grateful to have 2!!) I'm still in need of a hysterectomy. It's just so final. I am ok with me making the decision to be ok with 2 (I don't have much of an option since my cervix sucks and stays open) but for a dr to make that decision for me, well- I don't like that idea so much. Just when I think I have accepted the fact that I will only be a mom to boys, I get hit in the face with- oh, yea- it's real you can't really house another baby b/c you just don't have a cervix that will close enough to hold it. And, there's that whole risk of a preemie. I don't think I could go through leaving another baby at the NICU an going home empty handed. That was way to hard. You momma's that leave you baby in for months at a time are amazing. (Not that you have a choice, right?) Parker was only in there for 11 days. 11 days to long. My kids seem to have a pattern- Logen was born at 36 weeks and Parker at 34 weeks. I can't help but think *if* I was able to have another, that child would be born at 32 weeks. And, that's just to early for me to wanna risk.

So, I am bummed today :(

Oh, by the way-- would you say a small prayer for me? I had a spot that suddenly appeared a few weeks ago removed last week. It was discolored and jagged edged. My derm said, 'honey, we really need to take this off to send to pathology.'