Splendid Mayhem: Missing Uncle Stevie

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Sunday, December 28, 2008

Missing Uncle Stevie

This was the 1st Christmas w/o Uncle Stevie (he died in a tragic motorcycle accident Sept 18, 08) I just looked through my lil sister's facebook pictures- one of my Aunt, Dad, & Papaw. I sat there thinking something is missing. Uncle Stevie. Just isn't right. I hear his voice, "Jessie, how's it goin'"? I'm afraid I'll start to forget my childhood memories of him. The way Logen took to him the 1st time he met him. (which was odd- I thought he'd be scared of him the way my littlest sister, and most little kids, was)

I spoke with my Aunt Pam on Friday. She called to say hello. She didn't do Thanksgiving with 'our' side of the family this year b/c she said it was just to soon. She told me she didn't stay at the Christmas get together very long b/c Uncle Stevie wasn't sitting at the end of the table where he usually does. And, everybody looks like him. And talks like him. It's true. There's something about my Dad's side of the family- you can just tell we are related. She started crying on the phone. I can't imagine what loosing a spouse is like. And a Dad since my cousin lost his father. I just keep on praying for them.

We will see them soon. And, I can't wait to give my Aunt Pam and big 'ole hug. Logen's week long Doctor's appointments are coming up- we will be about 45 minutes from my family then, so hopefully we will get to see them all. And, do a 'late Christmas'.

Will you say a prayer for Aunt Pam & Tyler please. Thank you :)

Thank you all for your continued prayers for us all. We are so very appreciative. Thank you cannot be said enough.

1 comment:

3LittleFlowersDecember 28, 2008 at 8:21 PM
I lost an uncle very tragically 10 years ago. He was the center of the family and everything turned around him... He was the one everybody called when they had a problem, and he was there in first line doing something to solve it... He was the one setting on my grandma's answering machine, or putting together the birthdays of all the members of the family... He was just on top of everything... He was gone one day, and it is amazing that 10 years has passed already... We went to a special mass last October 30th because of his 10th anniversary, and we just cant believe it... I remember that day, and it replays my mind over and over again... I dont think there are a lot of people of my family that are "over" this and dont think about him as much as I do... His wife has continued to be an important part of our family and sometimes I just cant imagine how it feels to be her...
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