Splendid Mayhem: Signing Consent Forms

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Signing Consent Forms

I went to the PS to sign consent forms, have my before pics taken, and pay 50% of my bill (eck!) The 3rd one down to initial read, _____ As with any surgery, there is a risk of disability, severe disability, and possibly death. (WHAT?) Ok, so ya- anesthesia freaks me out, but I was actually at peace with that until today. Death? I don't wana die in the OR during a boob job. Seriously, that's gotten be bad karma. Really BAD! The risk is super low, but you just never know. So, on April 28th, while I am in the OR- can you pray for me. I know I'm going to be a complete wreck the day before. The day before my last surgery I was to. That, and doing no food/drink bites. My surgery isn't until noon. So, I'm going to sit and stir. And FREAK out all morning. Just wanted to share my anxiety with you. 3 weeks to date!