Logen is DESPERATE for your prayers. Pray blog family, PLEASE pray. Just grab this code and add it to your blog (html gadget) so you can help us spread the word! Thanks! Pray for Logen

A sincere THANK YOU to all of you who have added this to your blog! And, to Anelys for creating such a cute blinkie!!

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

Therapy For 2?

It's hard enough having 1 child with SN. 2, unthinkable!?! I filled out a sensory profile on Parker last week. He makes himself vomit. I told Logen's OT (who is also a friend) that I thought he had sensory issues. So, thats when she told me to fill out the prole and she'd score it. All along, I've been freaking out that something was going to be wrong with Parker (even before our 2nd child was conceived I was worried!) Then, I was put on bedrest and delivered a preemie. I immediately felt his tone, which is normal. Whatever that may be. So, when Tabi told me today that there were a few redflags on his profile, and she'd like to do an eval- it finally hit me. I've deep down known all along that there is no way you can have a preemie (even just 6 weeks) with no delays or quirks. Maybe thats just my pessimistic attitude. He doesn't have any real words, at 17 months. He says~ dada, mama, weeeeee, buba, buta buta buta (which sounds luke bootay sometimes), and babbles like crazy. The child is in NO way quite. No where near it. Cognitively, he's ok. Not worried about that. His facial muscles are all good. Tabi said, he needs sensory output and Logen's SLP gave me a checklist to fill out for her. I know it's not CP. I can without a doubt tell you that. His tone and physical development is on track (I have a chart Tabi gave me when Parker was ity bity). Did I do something wrong? Did I keep thinking something was wrong, so I did this to him? Was it my fault that I couldn't carry him past 34 weeks? Am I a bad Mom? What will people think with both boys in therapy. It has to be the mother. She must've done something wrong. How do you handle something like this? I haven't even accepted 1 child being 'disabled'. I'm just lost today. I'm sad, and scared, and I don't know what else. I don't really know what else to feel. Will you say a prayer for Parker? And, me?

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5 comments:

  1. Oh Jess....why didn't you tell me any of this, girl??? I'm here for you & NO, YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOM. So, get that thought out of your head!! Everyone has little quirks....remember, I'm the weirdo that hates cotton balls??
    Parker will be FINE!!!!
    Love ya!!

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  2. I will pray for you. I fear the same thing for myself if/when we have baby #2. Prayers are with you!

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  3. I'm so sorry you're going through this right now - it's not fair. I know you must be worried and it's easy for me to say wait until you know for sure something is wrong. Parker seems to be doing so well - there are so many late talkers out there and every kid has quirks. You're a wonderful mother - anyone who even reads a couple of your posts realizes how much you love your children. I'll be thinking of you.

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  5. Jess - First of all, you are an amazing Mom! Not only do you care so much for your little ones, but you cared enough to start a support group so that all of our little ones had the same wonderful resources. You are amazing!!

    You are in my thoughts and prayers. I cannot imagine how you are feeling right now. Just know that I am here if you need to talk/write and that you have people all over the country that care for you, Logen and Parker.

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