It Hit Me Again....

I love my Papaw dearly. He's a terriffic man. I enjoy our long phone conversations, and will try to be even better in the new year about making it a weekly thing. We don't get to see him as often as I'd like to, it's a four hour trip both ways. While we were visiting him on Saturday, it hit me (again) that my Meme is gone. She's been gone nearly 13 years. Doesn't make it any easier. I walked into her very pink bathroom and noticed things remaining the same. The kleenex box & the vanity mirror still on the counter top, where she put them. I had to peek in the medicine cabinet. This is when I didn't think I could make it out of the bathroom with a smile on my face. Her sunless tanner & face wash were still on the top shelf. The shelf below it had several medications that expired in June 1996. The expiration date on the boxes- seeing that made my eyes swell. How do you leave that kind of stuff there for so long? I sat down on the toilet and looked to the door, fully expecting my Meme to barge in. She didn't.
I thought, Lord please let me know she's ok. But, I know she is. She's dancing with the Angels. She loved Angels. There are still many "Angel things" around the house. I think my Meme wanted to dance with them more than anything. So, I shouldn't be sad. I should rejoice that her dreams have come true. But, I can't.
I'm mad at the fact that my children will never know their Meme on Earth. I'm mad that Eric & I never got to take a train to NYC for our 16th birthdays. Like she promised us. I'm mad that the day she feel into a coma was the day that Bree & I were mean to her and didn't want her to take us swimming too. I'm mad at her for making me eat Pimento Cheese Sandwiches. And happy that the first night Bree & I stayed with her alone was a few nights before she went to live with Jesus. We got to stay up late and eat chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream.
Blog family- I know it's been so long since Meme left us. Holidays can be hard and can make you re-face the fact that your loved ones are no longer with you. Can you say a prayer for my Papaw? He seems to be fine, but you never know. There are somethings people just don't talk about.

Peace Out :)

Hey Blog Family!
Hope you all are recooperating from Christmas :) We still have WAY to much ham in our fridge. My Momma bought a 15lb ham for 5 people! I'm going to turn into a ham!! I have several pictures to share, just haven't gotten around to it. We are heading out of town this afternoon and should be back late Sunday. I'm hoping to get some Christmas pics on here before 2008 :)

Have a great weekend!
Hugs!

Lets Say Thanks!

Something cool that Xerox is doing:
If you go to this web site www.LetsSayThanks.com you can pick out a thank you card. Then Xerox will print it and send it to a soldier currently serving in Iraq . You can't pick out who gets it, but it will go to some member of the armed services. Please pass this on!

My Christmas Gift To You~

Long Over Due~ Parker's 1st Birthday Pictures

Another Call From St Louis

I just got off the phone with the APN at the CP center in St Louis. I had asked several questions about Logen's MRI findings (since, to me- they appeared totally different!!!) She said she would talk to Dr Brunstrom and give me a call back. Dr B studied the MRI's very carefully and came to the comclusion, that they are actually similiar. It wasn't the same Radiologist (nor the same hospital) that interpretted the 2 MRI's- which is one reason the findings appeared so different. She said that the views were different on the 2, which is why the impressions seemed different. I still don't see where a 'scar' came from. Could be just what the 1st Neuro thought?! Especially if one MRI said, "prominence of certain areas, otherwise normal brain MRI". I guess that is something we will ask when we see Dr B in January. This is all rather confusing!

Hugs Blog Family :)

A Monkey In Make-Up

Logen found my makeup drawer (again!). He decided to 'beautify' himself with Momma's brown eyeliner. He got the general area correct!

The First Snow of The Season

Snow fell 12/15/2007. Logen enjoyed running around outside. We didn't get a great deal of snow, perhaps an inch- at most. I'm hoping we get a snow after Parker starts walking so he can go outside and play to!

Our First Ice

December 10, 2007- Didn't cause any great problems here, but Oklahoma got hit hard! The Tulsa Airport was closed for 2 days b/c of power loss.

A "Parker" Story

I have never written a journal entry about my pregnancy and think I should write something down before I forgot all the of great events of my eventful pregnancy. I had every intention of blogging this on his 1st bday, but since I was 'puter-less' I was unable to. Today is Parker's due date (1 year ago, of course). So, I thought I'd blog about it today.


Before I got pg with him I was on blood pressure meds. Dxed with Mitral Valve Prolapse (my BP was about 130ish/110ish - the norm is 120/80), I was also on anti-anxiety meds b/c I was slightly depressed and began having anxiety attacks. School was only one cause. The label on the blood pressure med clearly said- Do NOT get pregnant while taking this med. Ok, so it wasn't worded exactly like that- but pretty dang close. In Jan '06 I had a weird 14 day period. Feb was the same. So here comes March and I spotted for like a day. I thought- "thank you Jesus for such a short period!!!" I had mono in March 06- was on antibio's for almost the entire month b/c I wasn't getting better- turns out they basically canceled out the birth control (go figure!) I had also started taking diet pills mid march-early April. I noticed my gut was getting big. Around that time, that drug for women- cortisol, I think- came out talking about stubborn belly fat caused by stress... yada yada. So, I thought that was what was happening to me- stubborn belly fat!


Easter weekend we went to visit my Dad's family. My big sis had just found out she was pregnant with her first. I remember sitting in her vehicle at Sonic after church that Sunday and she was talking about the grease making her ill. I was thinking, ya- I totally agree! So, on our drive home I told Adam I thought I *might* be pregnant. All b/c of greasy food! I told him I'd test Monday morning.


I dropped Logen off at therapy that Monday (4/17/06) and went to Wal-Mart for a HPT. I took it in the bathroom- within seconds, + showed up! I started bawling. I was super scared, mainly b/c of all the meds I was on (BP meds, anti-anxiety, ambien CR, & the diet pills) . I called Adam- he was also freaking out- b/c of the meds. I called my OB and they got me in on Wed to make sure everything was ok, check my BP, etc etc. Amazingly- my BP was normal. I stopped all of my meds Sunday b/c I was just about sure I was pg.


Around 9ish weeks, I started bleeding. I was cooking dinner (it was pasta with red sauce- it's amazing I remember that) and looked down b/c something started dripping. It was bright red blood. My first thought was I'm loosing the baby. I called my OB and he said to take it easy and come in in the morning (the ER was not necessary b/c if it were a m/c they couldn't stop it). The nurse called me at 8am to make sure I was coming in. I went in a few hours later to do an u/s- there was a HB. Baby was still alive. I bled on and off. Around 12 weeks, I started cramping and the bleeding worsened. I went in to the Dr, we did another u/s and baby was still fine. That night I remember sitting at Logen's PT's house visiting and I started bleeding very heavy. Soaking through more than 1 pad an hour. I called Adam and we decided to meet at the ER. We sat there for 6 hours- no joke. I remember around the 2nd time I asked for another pad, the nurse was horribly mean and said- honey if you are having a m/c there is nothing we can do. You just have to let it pass. Obviously, she didn't have children. I sat there thinking- God, please send me a sign! Shortly afterwards, a lady walked in with her baby- who needed to be seen b/c he was sick. I thought, what the heck? Is the sick baby a sign that my baby won't make it or my that my baby is ok?! When we finally got back, we did another u/s- baby was fine. They kept me overnight for observation. At 16 weeks, I was still bleeding. We had switched OB's (same clinic, but my OB's nurse had been a butt to me! Actually, we switched by accident. My OB was out and Dr H had an opening and agreed to see me. Adam & I feel in love with him!) He decided to do another u/s to see if he could find a cause for the bleeding. He did- a subchorionic clot. He scheduled me to see a perinatologist 2 days later. At that point, I was very worried! When we were in clinic, he said in the next few weeks we need to get you in to see a specialist. Imagine the fear when the nurse called me that afternoon and said we scheduled you an appt for Thursday.


The peri did an u/s (6/29/06) and found the same thing. He said to take it easy. And he wanted to see us back in 4 weeks. We asked if he could see any 'parts' on the baby. I was just barely 16 weeks. He said, "It looks like your baby has a third leg". I am not kidding, he really said that! This dude was a quack, but a very intelligent one. LOL I was still convinced he was not a he, but a she- we told everybody (but my mom) we did not know the gender.

I continued to bleed for the next 4 weeks. At 21 weeks, we went back to the peri. Everything looked normal with the baby. My cervix, however- was not so normal looking. They like it to be more than 4 cm long. Mine, was about 2.5- it had started thinning out. At 22 weeks, we started seeing the OB weekly and he checked me at each visit.

I had a Dr's appt Sept 15 (I was 27 weeks exactly). Dr H did the normal "checking me" routine. This time he looked up at me with this worried look. He said, you need to get to the hospital. You are dialated to 1cm. I was freaking out! He did allow us to go home and pack a bag, but I needed to be back in an hour or less. When I arrived, I got all checked in and was shortly wisked away to have an u/s. I was also given my first dose of steriods for lung/brain development. I think I asked every possible question I could to the nurse about "what if he comes now". The next evening- I had my second dose. And, was discharged on 'strict bedrest'. Each week, I dialated a little more. Around 31ish weeks, I had progressed even quicker, so we did another round of steriods. I remember thinking I was going to deliver on halloween. I'd be 33wks and 5 days. I thought, if not then- Nov 2nd would be it. My 8 weeks on bedrest sucked, to say the least. I did get frequent u/s's though. Kinda interesting to watch Parker grow that way. I did enjoy just laying on the couch watching my belly wiggle. Logen never wiggled like that.

On Halloween I had a Dr's appt. My bags were in the car, b/c I just knew Parker would be here that night. I knew we wasted $ on Logen's Halloween costume (he was the cutest little lion ever!) I went in and was dialated to 3cm.The next day, was the same as any other. Except Logen got sent home from school sick. We had to keep him home Thursday, no matter what. My mom had a meeting that she couldn't miss. I didn't want Adam to have to take off work again- he'd taken off on Halloween b/c I swore I was going to have a baby and wanted him close, just in case. So, me on bedrest said- I'll keep Logen at home. It shouldn't be to bad. I can just keep putting in movies for him and we can lay on the couch all day. Hahaha

I got up November 2nd, went to the bathroom and a lovely clump of red came out. I called Adam and my mom and told them. I told Adam we have to get to the hosp. He left work immediately. I called my nurse and she said to come to the clinic for Dr H to check Then, if needed we would go next door to the hospital. Being a clean freak- I jumped in the shower to make sure I smelled good. I had my makeup on and hair done by the time Adam got home.

My mom met us at Dr H's b/c I told her we were probably having the baby. We sat in the room waiting for Dr H to come in. I sat there, thinking "It's like a zoo in here". It was me, Adam, my mom, & Logen. I was dialated to 6cm by then. He told us he'd call to L & D and tell them to get ready for delivery. He'd also call the other hosp and have the NICU get ready. Adam asked if I needed to be pushed over in a wheel chair. Dr H said it didn't matter at this point b/c Parker would be here in the next few hours. So, I needed to do what was more comfortable for me. I opted to walk b/c I'd been in the bed for so long. I was in tears walking over. I cried when they got me situated and all checked in. I pretty much cried most of my labor. I was paniced!

The delivery room was a zoo. My mom & Adam were letting me squeeze there hands. I refused pain meds b/c I knew that I couldn't leave to see my baby if I had any. My hubby admitted I am pretty dang strong when need be! One of my dearest friends, Paige, took pics. She came to the hospital, but not expecting to stay in the room. My mom was going to do it, but her hand was being squeezed a nice purple color. Dr H (OB), 2 Ob nurses, the Neonatologist, 2 nursery nurses, & a neonate nurse. At the wide open doors to my room were 2 male EMT's ready to transfer if something went wrong and the baby needed to go then. The NICU was about a 30 minute drive from where I delivered, depending on traffic.

I remember my mom saying Parker will be here before 7pm. Around 6:30, I was telling the nurses it burned and I was pushing. I couldn't help it at that point. The blonde OB nurse said, have you ever heard the 'ring of fire' phrase for labor? Heck no... apparently right before you deliver you feel like theres a ring of fire going to come out. I can vouch for that!!! I swear Parker's head was going to flop out before Dr H got over there. He was carefully putting on his booties, gown, gloves, etc. I was yelling 'come on!'.

My mom was right, at 6:58pm Parker was born! He weighed 4 lbs and 6 oz. He was 17 inches long. Since Parker was going to the NICU, I told my OB I had to be discharged. He said if I insisted, he'd consent. Only b/c my mom is an RN and would be staying at the house, so that if something were to happen- she'd know what to do. I had to stay until 11pm. At 11, we were walking out of the hosp so we could go see our new baby. When we got to the NICU, we were only allowed to look. It really bites when you can't touch or hold the baby you've been carrying for so long.

The next 10 days were pretty rough. You mommies that have to leave your babies in the NICU for months are STRONG and TOUGH. The NICU journey is another post. This one has really become a novel :)

The Simple Things

This morning I was driving to take Logen to therapy. I glanced on the side of the road to a puddle. In the puddle, was a beautiful bird- bathing. (Not the bird above, I didn't have my camera handy). I've been thinking about it all morning. It reminded me that no matter what kind of day I may have, the world goes on. I can be curled up in fetal position crying my eyes out b/c the stresses of dealing with a disABLED child are to much to handle, yet birds still bathe. It's more of a metaphore. It meant alot to me this morning. It made me smile. And, anything that can make me smile is worth blogging about. So, ponder on it. Think of a bird bathing in a little freezing puddle. It's so simple...

My Fortune Cookie told me: People are beginning to notice you. Try dressing before you leave the house. Get a cookie from Miss Fortune

MRI 1 vs MRI 2

I said I'd post this a while back- just haven't had a chance! So, here's the Findings & Impressions on the 1st & 2nd MRI's. Can you decifier this???

MRI # 1 (1/31/2005)

Findings: The myelination is somewhat delayed for a 17 month old infant. However, it could be WNL if the patient was born significantly prematurely. {Logen was born at the end of 36 weeks, not considered premature} There appears to be some gliosis and mild atrophy in the left mesial temporal lobe as well.

MRI # 2 (6/18/2007)

Findings: There is prominence of the subarachnoid spaces, perivascular spaces, and Virchow-Robin spaces. The echo planar susceptibility (T2*) sequences reveal no evidence of acute or chronic hemorrhage. The ventricles are normal in size and position without evidence of hydrocephalus. There are no areas of abnormal contrast enhancement. There is no evidence of optic or hypothalamic glioma.
On the sagittal images the midline markers are unremarkable. Specifically, the scalp and calvarium are normal. The superior sagittal sinus demostrates normal venus flow. The corpus callosum is normal in shape and signal intensity. The posterior fossa in unremarkable. The upper cervical spinal cord and spine are normal.
The visualized portions of the orbits, mastiods, and paranasal sinuses are unremarkable. Normal flow viods are demostrated in the carotid arteries and basilar artery.

MRI # 1 (1/31/2005)

Impression: Probable gliosis and encephalomalacia in the left mesial temporal lobe. Delayed myelination for an infant born term. If the patient was born significantly premature, the myelination could be WNL.

MRI # 2 (6/18/2007)

Impression: Prominence of subarachnoid spaces, perivascular spaces, and Virchow-Robin spaces. Otherwise, normal brain MRI.

When I opened the newest MRI report, I about FLIPPED! Those of you who I talk to regularly can agree!! LOL So, WHAT DOES LOGEN HAVE!?!??!?!?!? The Neuro ordered some blood amino acids tests and a urine organic acid test. I will call Thursday or Friday to check results. She said that sometimes a child doesn't process or break down amino acids, which can mimic CP. Logen's therapists have said that while is tone is spastic- it doesn't apper "CPy" Does that make sense. Now, we wait. Once again........ If Arkansas Children's misdiagnosed Logen, I am going to be LIVID! Esp if what he has is curable. LIVID, I tell you, LIVID!

So, what do YOU think?????

"Courage is not the absence of fear, but rather the judgment that something else is more important than fear."

~Ambrose Redmoon

A Little Vent

I started PT yesterday afternoon. I wanted to cry when I left! He didn't make me do too many exercises that were 'hard', but man did they make me hurt!!!! He told me that I haven't been using those muscles, and thats why they would be a bit more sore after stretching them out. You think????!!!!! I haven't been using them b/c they HURT! LOL He also told me I should be going w/o the sexy neck brace more frequently. Apparently I am compensating for my weaknesses. Hmmmm.... who do I sound like?? (Logen... cough cough) He wants to see my 2x a week. Seriously, I will NOT push Logen to come home & do a ton of work after therapy. I was exhausted after therapy!!! And, Logen goes for 3 hours at a time. Maybe I should re-think that! No wonder he can be crabby when he's done! Now I feel like a mean 'ole momma!! ;)

In case any of you don't know--- This totally bites! I wish that dude wouldn't have hit me. (Like anybody really wants to be hit, right? I was lucky, I know this- it could have been FAR worse. God was watching over us. Thank You Jesus!) I am a very busy lady. I have a lot to do. I really don't have time to do anything for myself. Much less spend 40 mins in a car driving there, 1 hour in therapy, and 40 minutes driving home. Apparently, he didn't know that when he was driving like a goober and just 'ladeda'd' right into the back of my van. Maybe I should put a HUGE stop sign back there that says, "Do not hit me. I do not have time to deal with all that it requires. Thanks. Have a Blessed Day." You think that would work? I'm super paranoid every time I come to a stop. I stop and quickly look into my rearview mirror and say a little prayer that the person coming to a hault behind me really comes to a hault and doesn't use my bumper to do so. I do it everytime. It's almost pathetic at this point. Enough venting, I have things to do. Parker is sitting under my feet driving a truck on them. He wants some Mommy time before we get Logen in a hour.

Parker's Sick

Took Parker to the Dr this morning, he's got croup. Nice! The poor kiddo has been battling snot for the last 2 weeks. He's now on Orapred (a steriod) which makes the kiddo nuts (and me too!).

He may also have Echsema (I can't spell this word, I hope you get what I'm saying). Dr told us to stop using Johnson's baby wash. It apparently can strip the paint off of a car?! She gave us a sample of a lotion to try and a coupon (how thoughtful) for it. We will also throw out our J & J and buy Aveeno.

Parker weiged in at 19.6 lbs this morning! Woohooo my 13 month old is almost 20 lbs!! He has stood on his own 2x today! For a total of 30 seconds each time! He's beginning to get interested in pushing his walker thing around, although he stays in the bedroom on the carpet. The wood floor is too dangerous. Right now, he's pushing Logen's kiddie table chair around the kitchen. Silly boy!

Logen update

Logen's labs were done last week- Wednesday. I should be hearing something from St Louis by next Friday.

Me, In Therapy....

Hey blog family. Still w/o a computer. Borrowing Mom's again. I'm really started to *hate* Best Buy right now.

An update on me: I start Physical Therapy Monday. I'm still hurting. The back pain really started increasing over the weekend. The Nurse at the Neurosurgen's office said thats normal for the lower back to start hurting several days later. Oh, ya- the appt with the Neurosurgen last Friday- was absolutely a WASTE of 250.00!!! Really, he didn't tell me anything the ER didn't already tell me. And, told me they'd call this week with a treatment plan. Got the call today. After leaving a voicemail 2x Monday and 1x today. Go figure.

A little vent: I sat in the parking lot of the Dr's office last Thursday in tears. I walked in ready to see the dr. The checker-inner person said we need the police report and 250.00. I said, I have neither. How about a copy of my health care insurance? I'll gladly give you my 40.00 specialist co-pay. She said, "Mam, they will deny your claim. This was caused by a 3rd party. We've seen it time and time again." I said, "Can't you bill them anyway and take a letter from my attorney saying he's dealing with this crap, yada, yada, yada". I walked out in tears, called my attorney- he called them. Blah, blah. I had to come back Friday. Mind you, it's not like a hop away- it's a good 30 minutes to his clinic. My WONDERFUL Mom & Dave paid the 250.00, b/c there is no way we could have come up with the money. And, apparently in order for the dude that hit me's insurance to pay for my bills I have to follow Dr's orders. Which means, I had to go to this guy- regardless. This is terribly inconvient for me. I did not asked to be hit. I did not throw my vehicle into reverse and say, oh- I think I'd like to be in a wreck today. Just sounds like fun. I'm going to enjoy my neck, back, shoulders, and head hurting for oh- the next couple of months. Hmmm..... Serioiusly! Why now???? I have alot on my plate. And, some idiot decides to inconvience me. Nice. Thanks dude, whoever you are. Glad you weren't hurt and you better be glad my kids weren't hurt b/c I'd have gone ape "beep" on your donkey butt. Ahh.... I feel better, for now......

Quicky Updates

Hey guys :)

I got Logen's MRI report back 2 weeks ago- it's different from the first one. It Looks BETTER. This is a post in itself- hopefully I will be up to it tomorrow. My neck has hit it's peek pain level this evening. I've been laying around with the heating pad around it :(

My mom & I took the boys to Branson the 1st weekend in Nov (while the boys went to deer camp). I haven't put the pics on a disk yet, but will upload soon. The boys LOVED the lights and had a ball at Silver Dollar City.

Parker turned 1!!!! I have several things I want to elaborate on in the subject. His bday was kinda hard for me.

Hugs blog family. I'm having withdrawls from posting.... I'd better get my computer back soon!!!

We Were In An Accident

It's never a dull moment in our house, let me tell ya! Wednesday afternoon I had just gone to pick up Logen and was on the way to the hospital to get the blood and urine tests. A man in front of me slammed on his breaks, so I slammed on mine. I swear I stopped less than a foot away from his SUV. I looked in my rearview mirror and saw a big white commercial van getting ready to plow in to the back where my babies were sitting. I was totally freaking out. I closed my eyes and prayed the back end of the van didn't crumble. As soon as he hit me, I started shaking like crazy, the boys were initially quite, but by the time I got the van pulled off the road, they were both screaming. I called the police so that a report could be filled. The lady asked me if anybody was hurt and I said- my neck hurts. She said, "are those children I hear? I'm sending an EMT too". They arrived pretty fast. They checked us out and said we all looked ok. So, they left. My mom arrived and said that we should atleast take the boys in to make 100% sure they are ok. By the time the pploice got done, my neck was throbbing. So, on to the ER we went. They did an xray on Logen b/c his neck seemed a bit tight- it came back clear. Parker was in his new car seat- with shock absorbers. The dr didn't even question him, he was being Parker by then! It just scared him, he was woken up by a big shake! They did a CT scan on my neck and back. He didn't notice anything serious. However, he does want me to see a neck and back specialist next week. He also put me in a very, very sexy neck brace (humor me, this thing sucks!!). He also put me on a muscle relaxer (3x a day/5days) to help with spasms. And gave my Rx Ibprofen for swelling, and pain meds.
The back end of my van doesn't look to to bad. The bumper is cracked. We don't know if there is any internal injuries though. The commercial van's front bumper was dropped- his van looked yucky. We were pretty lucky it wasn't a horrific event. And, I am super thankful the boys didn't get hurt. I think I'd have climbed outta my van and beat the man up if he hurt my boys. (Can you see little ole me doing that!?? haha)

I looked like a turtle eating my Thanksgiving meal yesterday!! I can't turn my neck.
Hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving!!!

Oh, and I'm STILL w/o a computer! Best Buy said they could *try* to save the 700 photos on there- for 100 bucks.... even though what happened to it wasn't my fault and to fix it is under warrenty...

Swallow Study Results

Logen's swallow study was yesterday afternoon. He did very well, sitting on my lap of course!

He didn't aspirate honey or nectar thick liquids. He's been on nectar thick since March. When given thin liquids, he did suprisingly well. He only aspirated 1x!! And, believe me- I was in shock, so I made them keep giving him thin liquids. We did it by syringe (3 cc's at a time), by spoon, by regular cup (didn't go so well), and by his special sippy. The time he aspirated, it was with his sippy. And, of course- it was silent aspiration. When he drinks from his cup- he throws his head back & just guzzles it.

His swallow is delayed (nothing new), he usually clears his airway in 2-3 seconds- taking about 2 swallows.

For now, Logen is still on nectar thick b/c he is at such an increased risk for aspiration. During therapy sessions, we can use a syringe & give him thin liquids. We really have to work on strengthing his jaw, and getting his tongue to curl when drinking. When you take a drink, your tongue's sides curl up- this helps get the liquid pushed into the back of the mouth and ready to be swallowed. This is what we really need from Logen. In the study, he swallowed peaches whole- he doesn't have the control/skills to beable to get the food into his checks to chew it. His tongue is just 'there'. We are really going to be hitting mouth stretches HARD!!! And, we must work on his throwing his head back. He does this b/c it's just easier to let the food fall into his throat rather than him have to do any work to get it back there.

Overall, I was impressed and shocked that he only aspirated 1x. Yay Logen :) We will do a repeat study in 6 months, unless we think there is a change and need to do one sooner. I'm going to be praying hard that in 6 months my little man will no longer need thickener!!! And, of course - that his coordination improves!!!! He really really really needs some cordination in his mouth!!!!

My heart is hurting....

I walked out of Logen's therapy feeling like my chest weighed 100,000lbs. Besides being so upset (emotionally) about the regression in my baby- I learns something else. Logen's SLP and I were talking about some concerns. She said that she's not sure that Logen is processing stuff. Stuff= for lack of a better word. Example; when we ask Logen to do something- sometimes he follows directions w/o visual cues, and sometimes he just stares at you blankly. We know he hears us. My heart hurts 1) b/c CP is not degenerative. So, does my baby have CP or not? 2) I've never said this before- but, is my baby 'all there'-- and here come the tears. I don't know what to do. I hate this. Absolutely hate this. It's not fair. I want to lay in the floor and cry, like a baby. Worse than a baby, like a mommy who's lost something. My child is is still here, so why does it hurt so badly?

I'm begging you for prayers at this point. For me, for Logen, for our family, for strength.....

Our SLP is going to write a list of concerns for me to relay to the Neuro when I call them Friday after the SS. I will post the list here as well as what the APN says.

Regression???

Last Friday I called the Neuro's office to ask about the possible regression in regards to feeding, swallowing, chewing, etc. The APN called me back rather quickly. She said to wait and see what the swallow study revealed. I am suppose to call her back after the study on Friday. She said more than likely, Logen will undergo more testing. Please say a prayer for Logen. Pray that it was just the vital stim that made things worse and now that we have stopped it, he'll get better.

Thanks blog family.

Swallow Study...

...has been scheduled for this Friday, October 26th at 3pm. I'll let ya know what we find out!!

Pumpkin Patch Pictures

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

Discontinueing Vital Stim

I've been considering stopping Vital Stim for hte last month. Monday was just about the last straw. We went in and Logen screamed for about the entire hour. It was misrible. I talked to his other SLP and the OT yesterday to see what they thought about stopping the VS. They both agreed to wait until we have another swallow study (working on scheduling it). However, we have seen NO change in the last several months. The only thing that changed for the better is his tongue. It is now able to come into a neutral position. This happened after 1-2 months of VS. We are now working on 7 months of VS.
Things that have changed- and not for the better.
1) Logen has increased the amount of drooling
2) He was able to drink from his special sippy as well as a Nuby cup. He had a little spillage from the nuby, but was constantly improving. Now, Logen has a hard time sucking from the Nuby. He went 12 hours and had maybe 4oz one day last week b/c I only offered him the Nuby. I don't know if it's b/c it's suddenly harder for him or if he was just being stubborn.
3) So, his sucking has 'regressed'.
4) Eating altogether has gotten worse.
5) I know he's still aspirating.

His therapists said that they feel language is more important at this point. I feel that he's regressed back to before we started VS. I was so excited to start this therapy- we knew it was experimental in ped's, but were willing to give it a shot. Now, I'm kinda mad at myself for trying it. Logen was doing awesome in the eating dept. He'd gone from honey thick to nectar before VS. I'll let ya know when we do the next swallow study.

Interesting Article

Christie posted this article on the CP board and I wanted to share it here. Makes me glad that Logen is a male and we won't have to deal with menstration! I'm not really sure what I think about this. While, at first I was disguisted I started thinking about it. A child this severe will likely never have children of her own, yet that doesn't give anybody the right to take away her "parts". Then again, menstration and all of the wonderful things that come with it are frustrating- and can be scary for her. Then, there is the entire hygiene part. Wow! So much to think about!

A severely disabled teenager’s womb may be removed to improve her quality of life, and not because it is medically necessary, in what is thought to be a British first which has reignited debate over medical ethics.
Disabled charities yesterday condemned the plan while experts in the field cautioned against proceeding with such radical surgery before all other options were exhausted.
Doctors are seeking legal approval to perform a hysterectomy on Katie Thorpe, 15, in a radical solution to her mother’s fears that the girl, who has cerebral palsy, will not be able to cope with the onset of adulthood.
Alison Thorpe wants the operation to go ahead at St John’s hospital in Chelmsford to protect Katie from the “pain, discomfort and indignity” of menstruation.
Legal guidance is being sought because Katie, who cannot walk or talk and is believed to understand little of what is said to her, is unable to give consent.
News of the procedure sparked controversy yesterday, with charities denouncing the surgery, describing it as a “breach of human rights”.
Simone Aspis, of the United Kingdom’s Disabled People’s Council, said the operation was “unacceptable” when Katie could avoid menstruation through alternatives such as the Pill.
“Katie, like any other nondisabled teenager, has the right to grow up with her body intact, and where she can have the same choice as anyone else to give birth to her own children.”
She added: “We know of plenty of disabled people both with physical impairments and learning difficulties who give birth to their children and are great parents. This is nothing more than eugenics and abuse of Katie’s human rights.”
Gary Birkenhead, head of the programme development unit at Scope, the disability charity, said that while it was tough to bring up a disabled child, “that is not a reason to have to go to these lengths”.
However, Paul Hardiman, a consultant gynaecologist at the Royal Free and University College London, said the matter was not black and white. “I think you have to balance the protection of her human rights against the distress she is going to suffer if something isn’t done,” he said.
But he added that a hysterectomy was a radical and irreversible procedure that should only be considered as a last resort because less invasive options were available.
Faced with a patient in similar circumstances this year, Dr Hardiman recommended a device that releases hormones when it is inserted into the womb, slowing down or stopping menstruation. “It is as effective as sterilisation. but a key issue is that it is also reversible. A hysterectomy seems such a major and final thing to do to somebody.”
Doctors initially suggested contraceptive pills and injections to stop Katie’s periods starting but Ms Thorpe ruled them out because of the risk of her wheelchair-bound daughter suffering from thrombosis.
She said the decision to go ahead with surgery was an agonising one, but she believed it was the right one.
She told The Sunday Times: “Katie has an undignified enough life without the added indignity of menstruation. She will not understand what is happening to her body and it could be very frightening for her.
“Katie would be totally confused by menstruation. She could not manage it by herself. She could not keep it discreet; she cannot be private.”
The case echoes that of an American child known as Ashley X, who underwent surgery and hormone treatment to keep her at the size of a six-year-old child because her parents believed it would make her life more comfortable. When her case was made public in January, her parents’ argument that “keeping her small” would improve her quality of life was criticised by advocates for the disabled.
Ms Thorpe, who looks after Katie around the clock, said that her critics should “come and spend a week with me, walk in my shoes”. She said: “I’ve spent 15 years with my daughter. As a mother who loves her dearly, I am trying to do the best I can for her. I believe this is right for my daughter. It might not be the right thing for other children with cerebral palsy, and I’m not advocating that every disabled girl should have a hysterectomy, but the choice should be there.”

We SURVIVED!!

I've been sick to my tummy all weekend trying to decide whether or not to go to the playgroup's meetup at a gymnastics center. I posted on the meetup board my concerns & fears about my son just to see what they'd say. I had like 12 responses within 12 hours of my initial post. All of the ladies were so kind and said that differences don't matter--- yada yada yada. So, at 8am I decided we'd go. If we didn't like it, we could leave. On our way this morning, my tummy was in knots- kinda like the first day of school jitters. I got lost and ended up being about 20 minutes late. We walked in and I felt a bit uneasy at first. Within 10 minutes, atleast 3 moms came to me and introduced themselves and their kids. Logen was running around like crazy and Parker was stealing a toy from another baby. By the end of the meetup, I felt like the ladies (and a daddy) were genuine. It was a pleasant experience-- much to my suprise!!!! I think we will try this again! Tomorrow afternoon there is another meetup at an ice cream parlor.

I learned something today--- don't let my fears hold my children back!! LOL

BTW: This was our first playgroup since Logen has been Dx'd. And, we lived through it w/o TEARS! Big stuff there!!!!!!

The Little Mechanic

My tire low light came on Wednesday night, so Adam checked the pressure and adjusted it. Logen watched the entire time. On our way out the door Thursday, Logen grabbed the tire gage and set out to check Mom's tires! How smart is that?!?!?!

Oh, GRAVY! What a mess!

I went to the bath room, walked into the living room, noticed it was rather quite, walked into the kitchen- this is what I saw:

Parker; eating gravy mix. I think he enjoyed it. BTW: I made REAL gravy Saturday morning for the FIRST time and it was edible!!!! Adam loved it :) I can now make homeaide gravy like my grandma.... YAY for me :)

Tidbits from the trip

Ok blog family-- this is LONG overdue!!

Here are some juicy details of our trip!

Flight there was great! Logen got to meet the pilot and hang out in the cockpit for about 25 minutes. He LOVED it!
The first night we took the boys to the ocean, they both freaked! We went back Friday morning and they LOVED it. No waves though. Didn't realize Corpus was in a bay (Duh!)
We went to the Texas State Aquarium in Corpus- it was great! There was a fish that kept scaring Parker. That was priceless. In the "Corpus Picture" post you can see the fish I am talking about. It's the one where we are sitting infront of a HUGE tank. I swear the fish was swimming touching the glass for our benefit. Every time it got in front of Parker, he'd crawl away- quickly!!! Only this one particular fish bothered Parker!
We went out to the van Friday, getting ready to meet our family in Victoria, TX and the rental had a flat! So, we took it back to the airport. They didn't have another van to fit 4 adults, 2 cars seats, a double stroller, and a bunch of luggage. So, we had to wait for them to get another one from their other location. That was fun.
Friday night was great!! Adam got to meet 2 Aunt-in-laws (that sounds strange!) and an uncle-in-law as well as their families. It was my first time to meet their spouses and children. In my opinion, it was a great reunion. I am thrilled that we have been reunited.
Saturday we ate at a neat little cafe (The Rosebud Cafe) in downtown Victoria- the burgers and shakes were wonderful! We also got to tour "Diamond Fiberglass" where my Uncle Don is the President. I had no idea what making fiberglass, um, large containers entaled. Guess I didn't catch the name of what the big things they make were.... It was pretty neat!
That evening, Uncle Don & Aunt Susannah took eveybody out to dinner at Greek Brothers! Also a wonderful meal! My birthday was Oct 3 and Aunt Megan's was Oct 7, so they suprized us with a cake and singing!
Sunday we relaxed and packed until time to head back to Corpus to catch our 5 pm flight. Somehow we got turned around and headed North. Noticed it when we saw a sign for El Campo. Which is about 68 miles from Houston. So, we missed that flight. When we called the airlines they said we'd have to purchase another ticket to beable to fly out of Houston. Which didn't make any sense since our flight from Corpus landed in Houston then had a 2 hour layover before heading to Tulsa. It was going to cost around 916 bucks for new tickets. We decided we'd just show up at the airport like we knew what we were doing. We signed in using the computers and viola- were able to get boarding passes for no extra cash! Our flight kept getting delayed due to bad weather. We didn't end up leaving Houston until 9:30ish. We sat in the airport from 4:15 to 9:30. That was interesting. Logen was none-to-thrilled that other people were boarding planes. He tried to board 2 seperate flights. We walked around for a bit, Logen found a security guy and tried to hold his hand. The man was very nice. He told Logen that he couldn't hold his hand. He said, "if you lost your mommy, then I could hold your hand." Logen had a "so" look on his face and walked off. He was absolutely thrilled to finally be back on the airplane. Maybe be will be a pilot "when he grows up"!!!
We made it home around 2 am. We all slept until about noon Monday (the 8th)- slept through Vital Stim! Thank goodness Lori was understanding!!

Flight Pictures

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

Pictures From Corpus

Click to play | Make your own Smilebox

No HOT Water

You read that right, we have NO hot water today! Yesterday, my handy man hubby had to fix a leak under the kitchen sink. (Our house was built in 99, how insane for it to be leaky already!) That meant, he had to turn off the water. I guess whenever he turned it off, the pilot light automatically went out. We had hot showers last night, so what was left in the tank must have been all that was left. Hmmm..... so, I get to go to therapy w/o a shower- I'm going to smell great today :)

Getting Nervous

We are flying Thursday... as in "on a plane high in the sky" flying. Those things that crash, that get stuck for hours on run ways, that people hijack....... Ohhhhh..... can you feel the anxiety? I haven't flown since becoming a mom ( it has been about 4 years). I'm one of those 'glass half empty' kinda people. We aren't leaving for a few days and my stomach is already in knots. It's not completely about the fact that I am freaking out about crashing--- It's also about flying with my 2 children (dare I say 3 children?!)
So... besides just needing to vent about the fact that I am a nervous wreck, I want to know how to manage the airport with a 10 month old and a 4 y/o who doesn't listen. We have to take Logen's carseat on the plane, and I assume we are checking Parker's infant seat. How am I going to make it through 3 airports w/o a stroller??!! And, the whole rule about no liquids sucks. Logen's beverages have to be thickened. Therefore, I am going to have to pack extra thickener and cups with us so I can pay outrageous prices for milk and juice at the airport. Good thing Parker still gets 'the boob'.
This isn't the last "freaking out" thread before Thursday-- I'm sure. I'm stressing about what to pack, how to pack, blah blah blah. When we drive our own car- there is no problem with running back into the house to grab that extra pair or shoes or throw in an extra pillow for the road. Can't do that when you fly. Everything must be packed neatly and with much thought.
Enough of the stress for the night. I've already endulged in about 10 oreo's and DH made some chocolate chip cookies after he discovered I had finished off the oreo's- so I was 'forced' to eat about 4 of those. And, he makes big cookies!!! I'm sure my body will thank me for all of those calories right before bed.
Oh, ya- not sure if I said where we were going to fly to- Corpus Christi. We are staying there Thursday night. Then going to Victoria, TX Friday and Saturday night. My momma & step dad are going with us (so 2 adults, 4 children- in all reality... haha (the men are the extra children)). It's more of a family reunion trip. I haven't seen this side of the family since I was close to age 9. I'm pretty excited about seeing them. They are all grown up now... married with kids of their own. One of my goals is to get some great beach pics of the boys! (If we make it..... oh, there's that negativity again...)

Therapy Schmarapy

Last week, when we arrived at Vital Stim there was a little boy in OT throwing a fit. He had just been "taped" and was not happy about it. He began yelling at him mom and the OT.

He said:
"I'm sick of this therapy crap! I'm not going to do it anymore. You can't make me do it. I don't want to do it. I hate it!"

At that point, I wanted to lay down in the floor and scream the same thing. I was thinking, if Logen could only talk- I bet you a million dollars there are days he'd say the exact same thing.

How great would it be to run away and leave therapy for once? Does anybody ever think of that? Sometimes its just hard- We spend 15 hours in therapy a week. That doesn't include drive time and getting ready to go to therapy. I feel like all we do it get ready to go see Ms ..... for therapy. I want to run away to a village where everybody is 'different'.

Don't get me wrong Logen would not have come as far as he has w/o therapy. It's wonderful and I am thankful that we do get as much as we do. But, it runs me ragged. Emotionally drains me. I wish Logen could tell me how he feels about therapy. Does it drain him? I know it wears him out!!!!

Guess I'm just in one of 'those moods'.

Laundry Helper

Parker has decided to help Momma do the laundry. I was loading the washer and he was standing up outside the basket. I walked to the bathroom to get the rest of the laundry and when I came back this is what I saw! I have no clue how he got in the basket! He wasn't upset about it-- until he wanted out!

Polly Wogs

Logen got his new braces (Polly Wogs)! He's done well in them! They are already dirty b/c he's been wearing them w/o socks in his knock-off crocs.

Readin' The Paper

1st Time on Grass

The last 10 days....

I've not had computer access. We've had a very busy week(s)!! I'll be catching up with pics throughout the next few days.





Saturday, Sept 8th


We went to Hot Springs for My Dad's suprise party! My mom was awesome & came too so that she could watch the boys- it was a 'no kids' thing. My Daddy turned 50 on the 13th! Wow! I can't believe he's half way to 100. LOL (Pics to come)





Wednesday, Sept 12


Was my Dr's appt regarding headaches. We scheduled an MRI for the 14th. She gave me an rx for imitrex, but it's labeled "probably safe" for breastfeeding moms- so I'm only to take it if my head is really pounding (which is pretty much all the time) I went to get it filled & it comes in packages of 9. It was going to be 60 bucks!!!! (250 if I were uninsured). I didn't fill it. I decided to wait for the MRI results. The IM dr wasn't 100% convinced that they are just migraines b/c they tend to get worse at night- when it's dark & quite.





Thursday, Sept 13


My Dad's 50!!!!!!!!


Logen got "dismissed" from preschool. This really deserves a post on it's own. I cannot tell you all how much I cried last Thursday. They let me drop Logen off on Thursday & acted "peachy". Misty (the teacher) had told me Tuesday that Logen was having a hard time sitting in circle time. So, I talked with his therapists & had given Misty so tips. She acted like nothing was wrong- knowing all along that this was Logen's last day. When I came in to get him, the director followed me into the class. After everybody left they said :it's just not going to work". Logen requires alot of extra help. He can't pull up his own pants, or wash hands w/o help, he has to be re-directed during circle time, the walk to the play ground is down a hill & he has a hard time with that.... a bunch of little sh*t!!!!! They had cupcakes Tuesday for snack & Logen had it everywhere- in his hair and ears... I can only imagine what the table looked like. I think that had alot to do with it. He did look very sad Tuesday when I picked him up- he wasn't being as included as I think he should have been during art time. I was peeking through the window. Misty would hold up a picture of a food item & ask who likes it. If you raised your hand, you got one to glue on your paper. Logen, obviously, has a hard time with this- so he had no papers to glue. The look on his face was sad. This bothered me quit a bit- so maybe getting 'kicked out' was for the best. Now, I get to search for a school again. It's not fair for Logen to go into a program, get used to it and then have to leave. Not to mention- I had to completely re-arrange his therapy. Now, our therapists cannot give us our old times and our therapy schedule SUCKS! It was working around school- but now, theres no school to work around. I'm still bitter about this. Why did they even say they would try if they didn't put their whole hearts into it??? I don't think they really really tried. Logen is not a hard kid. Sure he cannot wipe his own a$$ (from the movie Big Daddy! ha), or eat neatly. But, really- what newly 4 y/o does these things completely on their own??? Please say a prayer that we find (yet, again) another preschool for Logen.



Friday, Sept 14

My MRI was at 7:30am. Let me tell you when the tech says "don't open your eyes" LISTEN! She did put a towel over my eyes, but I could peek through the bottom of it. I did and I swear my nose was touching the machine. I honestly thought I was going to suffocate! Other than trying to hyper-ventilate- all went ok. I am still awaiting results.



Logen also go his new polly wogs! He has done fairly well in them (I will post pics of the new digs)

Saturday, Sept 15

Steph (Brendan's Momma) turned 28!!! Happy Birthday!

Parker sat under Logen's booster seat waiting for him to drop crumbs. Logen did- he started dropping large pieces of graham crackers. Parker was a mess!!! Logen thought it was hilarious!!!!

Sunday, Sept 16

Lexi turned 2!!! (Bridgett & Brian's baby girl)

We had a small get together for Logen- it was actually his 4th birthday party! (I haven't posted any birthday pics, I'll get around to that too!)


~~~~
The boys have been a mess! Parker is finally beginning to hold his own. One day last week, Logen was sitting on the floor drinking some milk. Parker came up behind him, grabbed the back of his shirt and pulled him down. He grabbed his milk cup and took off! He's been climbing onto Logen alot lately- it's driving Logen crazy that he can finally steal toys back from him. This morning they were chasing each other around the coffee table. They are alot of fun! But, certainly keep you busy!

Headaches

I'm going to blog about just me......

For the last 3 months, I have had a headache. I've called my OB and asked questions- he's given me a list of things to try. Including vicodin, Rx naproxin, sinus meds, etc etc etc. The vicodin numbed everything from my nose down- but didn't kill the headache. I'm telling you it gets so bad at night- I cannot sleep. I would love to cry about it- but crying only makes your head hurt worse. In the last 12 weeks- I have not had 1 day w/o my headache. After the first week, I swore I was pregnant b/c with both boys that was the first sign I noticed. I can assure you, I am not pregnant- I think I have tested bi-weekly!

I have an Appt with an Internal Medicine Dr next week. My OB recommended someboy more specialized that just a family practice Dr since nothing has worked and the pain has lasted so long. If you wouldn't mind, say a little prayer that it's nothing major! I had a dream I had a brain tumor last night..... so, yes now I am extremely paranoid!!!!!!!!

Logen's 1st Week @ Preschool...

... Was SUCCESSFUL!!!!!!! I know I posted his schedule before- but I'll do it again. He goes on Tuesdays & Thursdays from 12:00 to 2:30.

We went in Tuesday and Logen went to play. He didn't cry at all! I was impressed :) His teacher (Ms Misty) said he did very well- her only concern at that point was having to go potty when Ms Libby (the director) isn't there. I guess b/c she's the one that will change his pull up. The kids are suppose to be 100% potty trained, but they made an exception for Logen. I got back to school about 15 minutes early so I could peep through the window to the class and watch Logen. He was sitting at the table glueing his picture to some paper (just like the other kids) Misty was helping him with the glue. When all the kids were done, she told them to go put their work in the basket. Logen got up and put his in the basket too! Then, she told them to go sit on the carpet to wait for "the mommies". Logen did just that! When "the moms" walked in, the kids all feel down and covered their eyes- Logen did this too! I thought that was pretty great for his to follow the other kids so well!!!!

For some reason on Thursday, Logen was a little squimish about me leaving him. It took me about 20 minutes to get out of the room- but Misty said he didn't cry when I left. I also came back a bit early to spy on him. He was following along with the others. This really makes my heart smile.

Now- I KNOW I have to be reading far to much into this. Logen has a 1 month trial period to see if he fits well at the preschool, etc, ect. In the kids cubbies was a little green note. It was a note from the teacher. Logen's note said "Logen is very sweet. He loves music & game time. He also loves ring around the rosey." I happened to see the cubbie above his' note and read the first line. "Will is such a joy to have in class....." SOOOO- does this mean Logen is not a joy???!!! I guess I am just waiting for our meeting at the end of the month to offer bad news- "Logen isn't fitting into the program" Oh, the stress!!!

So, blog family (I stole that line from Andrea!) please say a prayer for Logen & me... sanity for me! LOL

Here's 2 pics from his first day. I didn't get the best of pics- he was too busy!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY UNCLE JEROD

We love you & miss you! Hope you have a WONDERFUL day!!!!!

~*~ Logen & Parker ~*~

Lookie!! YUMMMMM

I made Caramel Apple Dumplings w/ golden raisins for Labor Day! I am very pleased with my creation :) And, they were sooooo YUMMY!!!! Not nearly as pretty as the ones on the cover of September's Southern Living, but I am sure they are every bit as tasty!!!!

A BIG Birf-day Gift

I got a few pics of the guys putting it together- none of him jumping on it :( Look at the clouds- it got darker & darker until the flood gates opened!!!

Just a Poem

If apples were pears,

and peaches were plums,

and the rose had a different name.

If tigers were bears,

and fingers were thumbs,

I'd love you just the same.

~ Anonymous

Car Seat Recalls

I had to Blog this b/c Logen's carseat was on this list!!!! Just check the link below if you have an Eddie Bauer, Cosco, Alpha-Elite, Alpha-Sport, or Safety 1st carseat manufactored between 11/1/2003 and 12/21/2005.

http://safetynotice.djgusa.com/alpha-omega-ha/press.php

OT Evaluation

Therapy eval's are bittersweet. It's wonderful to see the progress Logen has made in a years time. It's also very hard to see how behind he really is, especially when I see the age equivalencies.

Here is a run-down of Logen's OT eval. He was evaluated using the Peabody Developmental Motor Scales 2 (PDMS2), Beckmann Oral Motor Eval Protocol, & the Motor Free Visual Perception Test (MVPT-3).

The Peabody's "Scores":
Grasping: 1 %tile, age equiv~ 14 months
Visual Motor Integration: 2 %tile, age equiv~ 20 months
This makes me so sad. He was 46 months at the time. I just don't understand it. Why Logen? (I know all of the other SN Mommies wonder the same exact thing with their babies)I cannot even think about this, on to the "good" part.

The MVPT-3:
(Copied directly from the eval) It's an individually administered test designed to assess overall visual perceptual ability in individuals ages 4 years, 0 months through 95 years and above. Individuals are presented with a series of test plates and asked to identify the correct answer from among 4 alternatives for each item. No motor involvement is required in providing responses. Perceptual tasks include spatial relationships, visual discrimination, figure-ground, visual closure, and visual memory. Performance in these areas provides a single score that represents the indiviual's general visual perceptual ability.

*** Although the MVPT-3 was standardized, on children ages 4 years and older, Logen was able to participate in the test and his scores reflect his skills if motor planning is eliminated. He was able to consistantly point to the answers, indicating a perferredanswer by either pointing to it repeatedly or rubbing it several times. The following scores represent how Logen functioned if compared to his peers who are 48 months old.

Raw Score: 21
Standard Score: 100
Percentile Rank: 50 %
Age Equivalent: 4 years, 2 months

I m TICKLED to death over this! Logen ranked 4 months ahead! And, technically speaking- he wasn't even old enough to take the test!!!!!

This Years Goals:
1. Logen will demonstrate improved self care skills by performing a) LE dressing b) UE dressing w/ minimal assisance for 3 consecutive sessions (CS).
2. Logen will self feed with modified independance and minimal spillage for 3 CS.
3. Logen will manage a) 1/4" chopped b) 1/2" chopped c) non-modified textures with a rotary chew of the jaw and minimal spillage 10/10 trials for 3 CS.
4. Logen will string 5 small beads on a string independantly for 3 CS.
5. Logen will demonstrate control of a mouse to participate in developmental computer activities with 50% accuracy 3/3 CS.
6. Logen will a) build with wooden pieces b) copy on a chalkboard letter of the alphabet with good form, orientation, and spacing.
7. Logen will catch/throw a playground ball 5/5 trials for 3 CS.


Obvioulsy, I did not include everything- just the "high points". If you have any questions, or would like more info- feel free to shoot me an email or post a comment.

Logen's Going To School!

I've been struggling since May (since we left his other school due to major im-moral issues as well as other things) to find a good preschool program that would take Logen with his disABILITIES and the fact that he's not potty trained. You would not believe the list of places I called and went to visit.

The first place I took Logen to seemed happy to take him. However, I got a weird vibe. The 2nd time we went, a child cut his finger with scissors. The teacher was standing in the hall talking to another teacher. That was a sign for me to grab Logen and run!

Several places wouldn't even consider him b/c he's not potty trained. Even though the reason is b/c of CP. Didn't matter. I broke down crying several times. I am sure several people in my community think I am a complete nut job! I asked one lady at a church program how she could call herself a Christian and judge my son on what he's not physically able to do. Ya, she probably really thinks I need some help! I can now laugh at that. One center told me they weren't "equipped to deal with a child like mine". Ha..... talk about making a mom feel good......

The 2nd center that would happlily take Logen didn't work out either. (maybe I am just overly protective?) We had a meeting with the director (who was a CNA prior to opening the preschool) and his teacher. His teacher had worked with special needs children in the past and that was her "forte". She was very happy to have the chance to work with Logen- or so she said. For the last 2.5 weeks I have called and not gotten an answer. I also left voice messages, non have been returned. I went by there before we left last week. They had a list of excuses. That kinda raised a red flag. It really bothered me. So, I decided to keep looking and maybe consider them again if all else failed.

In July I put Logen on the waiting list for a really great pre-k readiness program. His SLP has had her son on the list since he was born. His PT's foster daughter's also attend the daycare part of the program. This program is pretty well known and I have heard only wonderful things about it! I happened to call on Monday to ask where Logen fell on the list. The lady told me his name wasn't on the list. (Discouraged mom at this point). But, she said they had somebody "drop out" at the last minute. They had an opening!! I then told her about Logen. They take only children that are completely potty trained. I told her I was ok with them not changing him at all. Just take him to the potty when they take the other children (The school day only last 2.5 hours, so I'm not horrible for this request! lol). She said they could probably do that with a note from his ped saying that the reason he wasn't potty trained was b/c of the CP? She asked if we could come for an "interview". So, yesterday I loaded the boys up and went to the "interview". The teacher said she thought she could handle Logen as his needs weren't to hard. It will be on a trial basis. He gets one month to prove himself (as I say). She wants to make sure it's a good fit for him. This is where we need some MAJOR PRAYERS.

Today was orientation. It was neat. I learned that he will be taking 3 field trips during the school year. To the public library, the fire station, and the University of Arkansas' barn to see the animals. The program is Tues/Thurs for 2.5 hours. It runs from Sept to May. Just like "real" school. Logen threw the biggest fit when we left yesterday. Today, as soon as we turned on the road to the church he was very excited. Today he threw a fit when leaving. This makes me very happy- it means he likes it! He didn't even mind when I left the room! The teacher seems eager to learn the few signs he knows and said she would even try and teach the class the signs. Logen will start school next Tuesday. Please keep him in your prayers. Pray that he adjusts, that he shares (this is a huge huge battle in our home), that he is not to much to deal with for the program, and that the other children and his teacher love him. I want him to beable to stay in the program. He needs this. He needs to interact with the other children, he needs more structure in his day. And, for him- watching and following along witht he other children has always been so motivational.

Prayers Please! Thanks :)

Love & Hugs!

Free Health Info

I recieved this in an email from my Momma! I thought it was funny, so I wanted to share with you all :)


To all of you I really want to live a long time...

When I read this I immediately thought of some of my favorite people
And their health.

In a number of carefully controlled trials, scientists have
Demonstrated that if we drink 1 liter of water each day, at the end of
The year we would have absorbed more than 1 kilo of Escherichia
Coli,(E. Coli) bacteria found in feces.
In other words, we are consuming 1 kilo of Poop.

However, we do NOT run that risk when drinking beer, (or rum, whiskey,
Wine or other liquor) because alcohol has to go through a purification
Process of boiling, filtering and/or fermenting.

Remember: Water = Poop, Beer = Health.

Therefore, it's better to drink beer and talk stupid, than to drink
Water and be full of crap.

There is no need to thank me for this valuable information: I'm doing
It as a public service.

BIG Stuff

Check out my boy! Notice the flip flops on his precious feet! He put them on ALL BY HIMSELF! And, walked across the kitchen! The flip flops are his daddy's, so they are like a million sizes to big. I was super duper impressed that he was able to walk with "boats" on his feet! Yay Logen!!!