Splendid Mayhem: I'm one of THOSE Moms

Welcome To Holland

I am often asked to describe the experience of raising a child with a disability - to try to help people who have not shared that unique experience to understand it, to imagine how it would feel. It's like this......
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned."
And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss.
But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.

Thursday, January 31, 2008

I'm one of THOSE Moms

Ya know, the ones kids make fun of? The ones who lick their finger to get 'stuff' off of our kids faces. And, yes I chase Logen around the house trying to get a icky green boogie out of his nose. I just did it and when I came back to the computer to turn it off for a while, I laughed and said (ya, I have voices in my head to) I have to blog this. I know there's more people out there like me- they just won't admit to it! I have turned into my Mother, and Grandmother. Oh, man! :)

2 comments:

MelindaJanuary 31, 2008 at 10:33 PM
Yup. I'm one of those mommies. I pull boogies out of baby's nose, lick my fingers to wash away a dirt smug (only if I don't have wipes handy), and sniff baby's butts in public. I carry a bottle of hand sanitizer in my purse, and one in the diaper bag. Yeah...one of those moms. Be proud of yourself, Jess. I am!
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Trish ~CnJ's Mommy~January 31, 2008 at 10:53 PM
Hi, My name is Trish and I belong in the same group as you :)

Blog away!! And come visit us when you can. How far is it from you to South Carolina? LOL
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